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Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2001-08-03 11:56 AM

Even a sunset hurts
when watching it without you
Everyday that passes
emptiness surrounds me
Midnight comes; still no word
unintentionally abandoned in the dust
And all your time
spent somewhere else
And this lonely heart
still lies in unrest
My lips yearn the warmth of yours
My arms just wait to hold you
All I need
what you can't give
So again a tear-soaked pillow

Guys I haven't posted in a while, been a bit blocked..so be nice to me ok?? This is just something I've been feeling recently and I wanted to write about...arrg.. tell me what you think.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

1 posted 2001-08-03 12:01 PM

HI JENN HI JENN HI JENN HI JENN HI JENN HI JENN..lol

ok, enough silliness.

This is so sad, deary! Don't worry though. have faith and things will come together and before you know it, time will have passed and you two will be together.
I just have one teeny little problem with it. Your ending reads like there should be more to it. Maybe if you add like one more line either after it or before it, it'll just finish it off perfectly.
It reads like you're hurting quite a bit. Keep your head up and be strong, alright?

~AF~

"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -- Robin Williams

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

2 posted 2001-08-03 12:19 PM

Hi Jenn.

I agree...This one was very sad. I know how ya feel.

But like E.J. said- Keepo your chin up, things will work out. I for one really liked the last line. Damn those tear soaked pillows...

HeHe. I hope you get over your writer's block soon, though I thought this one was well done! Hope to see more soon.

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

3 posted 2001-08-03 02:19 PM

Thanks guys, much appreciated. I'm just glad to be writing again...lol

"Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-08-03 04:22 PM

gald to see your pieces,Jenn...VERY sad yet so real..you have expressed the emotions so well...this hit me hard...and the discription of the "tear soaked pillow"?...perfect.

"if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take" - when thugs cry-

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-08-03 06:01 PM

This was quite sad. It really got to me. I liked it though.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

6 posted 2001-08-03 08:05 PM

I know how you feel. Life seems unimportant when you go through it without the one you care about. Girl, we could write a book!

Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by.

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

7 posted 2001-08-04 09:10 AM

Thanks to everyone. Yeah, I guess it is sad...sometimes you just can't help feeling that way. Oh well, I look forward to it getting better.

Luv to all!
Jenn

"Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2001-08-04 10:45 PM

Omgosh.. I connected with this so well... The first two lines hit me HARD.
"Even a sunset hurts
when watching it without you"
Memories came rushing back to the point where it almost hurt...
"Midnight comes; still no word
unintentionally abandoned in the dust"
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about... staying awake for hours waiting for a phone call that NEVER comes.  Beyond frustrating...
"And all your time
spent somewhere else"
Sitting around, thinking about him, wanting him to call and tell you once again that he loves you.
This hit hit home harder than hard.  I connected with this even when I read the first line.  *hug*  I know it's hard.  I'm sorry that you're having to go through this... give it time.
Nicely done, I really liked this poem.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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