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your future
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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your future |
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thedragonthomas Junior Member
since 2001-07-30
Posts 15 |
what do you want from me? i am not the key i can't take you away from the purgitory you lead i cant take away your pain away from your mother again her life will be yours in the future, you'll see you will grow up to be an alchol abuser just like your mom, just wait you'll see |
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| © Copyright 2001 thedragonthomas - All Rights Reserved | |||
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Hey Draggy (muaha) Strong words, quite powerful. It's like how they say, a chip off the old block. I felt the flow was disrupted a bit in certain parts. Maybe you could revise it? Just a thought. Overall, strong view point. Hope to see more of your work! -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
That was so strong with such few words... Very good.  What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Sounds like something you said to somebody. Did it become true or somthing? Well anyhow, i thought this was pretty bluntly said, but what else can we expect for you? You seem to be that kind of person and that's good. Nicely done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you [This message has been edited by Dopey_Dope (edited 08-03-2001).] |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow.. very powerful words in the poem's simplicity. Nicely done! I enjoyed this one.. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Great poem I really enjoyed it. LAuren |
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