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september 29
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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september 29 |
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sean mani Junior Member
since 2001-08-06
Posts 27 |
September 29 Hours passed before I found a hand in the small opening within the heap of rocks, the hand that was covered with blood and which was clinched tightly around a chain. It was the day of September 29, the day of my birthday Much have I waited for this day, for this was the day I decided to tell of my love that I expressed for her. To this day, I have denied everything purposely. She used to tell me this everyday that she loved me. Her eyes more than her words expressed this. She asked me whether I loved her. I used to tell her no and that I had some other in mind. She always walked away in disappointment How much did I want to tell her that I loved her. We were made for each other, I knew it. Sometimes when I saw her walk away in disappointment, I felt guilt for not letting her know that I loved her. How much she cried. Her tears always broke my heart. But, when the time comes, I will let her know. I knew she would be joyous. The time did come. It was the day of September 29 when I decided to let her know everything. On this particular day, she asked me whether she could borrow my favorite chain for the time being and promised that she wouldn’t let anything happen to it and that she would return it safely. I granted her this wish. How much she was expressed with joy. She did be back as soon as possible, that is what she said. That evening, when the time came for me to tell her that it was her who I actually loved, she didn’t show up. Many hours passed, yet, she didn’t return I went out to search, yet, no sign of her. The evening simulcast mentioned of the bombardment of a basilica by terrorists It was just the neighboring basilica Fear intruded me. I ran to the place as fast as I could. The place was in rumbles. Nowhere was she to be found. I hurled through the pile of rocks. Hours passed before I found a hand in the small opening within the heap of rocks, the hand that was covered with blood and which was clinched tightly around a chain. Terror visited me. The chain belonged to me. I hadn’t the courage to completely remove the pile of rocks from her body Just seeing her hand put me to a cessation Was I about to collapse? I couldn’t even move from the spot Was I about to cry? It seemed I didn’t have any tears left I kept staring at the hand. The hand, which clinched around the chain. She had kept her promise that no harm would be done to my chain. I only wished it was the same for her. At this peak of the moment, where I felt that everything was lost to me my only regret was that I didn’t tell her earlier that I loved her not even on this day of September 29. by Sean |
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| © Copyright 2001 sean mani - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
whoa this is extremely powerful and hit me very hard. tons of emotion is wrapped up in this. it's so sad yet has a very strong impact. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Awesome write, Sean. I really enjoyed this... very powerful! I hope to see more replies and posts from you soon! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Wow Sean.... More story like...but MAN I loved it. I stayed glued to the screen. This was so sad...  Let this be a lesson to us all! If you love someone- by god, TELL THEM! Very good write! More I say!You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Oh man this was just really sad. The ending was superb though.....I really enjoyed this one. You are a very emotional writer. You express quite well.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
WOW! that's bouy all i can say, WOW! robin i don't give up without a fight so boys beware! |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
SEAN, this is a very powerful piece..but very very sad. the message at the end is universal...you did a good job on this one...thanks for sharing! period pain is HELL! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
the title got me in, it's my best friend's birthday also....the poem, made me cry.....you did very well  |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
This was an absolutely tremendous poem, it was full of such emotion and I found it a great read. Youare a very talented poet and I hope to see more of your work on here soon!  ^*~Kicking Kim~*^  "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
You have basically proven my theory correct. September sucks. The poem was awesome and overwhelming. I had a friend of mine murdered on September 19, only ten days before this.  Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by. |
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