Teen Poetry #5 |
You don't know |
Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
You don't know what possesses my heart To have such wicked dreams Nor do you know how my intution courses through my veins Each time someone mentions your intoxicating name Nor you will ever know how my heart used to rip at the seams Just by dreaming the most sweetest yet dangerous dream You don't know how my body aches just for you Nor do you know all the pain I hold for you Nor will you ever know how you brought my soul to it knees Once you whispered out to me those words of sincerity I swore I closed the door to your memory But I guess I never knew That my heart was in love with you "Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night" ~Crash and Burn~ [This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (edited 07-31-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved | |||
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
The rhyme scheme was broken- but it worked! The flow was wonderful! I liked htis alot. I thought you expressed yoru feelings wonderfully. The last line was perfect! More I say! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
you written this piece through-out as a not far ago memory...that is what it seemed to me as i was reading it...i liked it. if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
Nor will you ever know how you brought my soul to it knees Once you whispered out to me those words of sincerity I swore I closed the door to your memory But I guess I never knew That my heart was in love with you To me the ending was mucg stronger than the beginning. It hit me right at the end. Wonderful write here... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed the poem. I haven't seen you around in a while! I enjoyed this piece. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Good to see you posting again! I really liked this one... Nicely done! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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