Teen Poetry #5 |
Breaking spells: Unfinished |
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Man, i'm into things being unfinished, eh? I may change the title, so...yeah. This is only PART of what i already have...because i'm still trying the ending. so i'll give you half, and then the rest will come. ===== As feathered thoughts brushed by my ear. The magic gently touched my mind And all who slept were calm of fear As I walked on silently. I left this dream world far behind As wind sang softly in my ear Like evening larks and ghosts combined It tugged my shirt quite violently. Down the road, I seemed to walk Along the crystal river's bend A secret soon to be unlocked A secret found unwillingly. The clouds and sky began to blend As rain fell down like dust of chalk A stranger I was to pretend A friend was I, but secretly. ===== More later...wait, i already said something like that...*sigh* Leah need break. -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
pure_innocence Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 80Colorado, US |
Exceptionally good start, I can't wait to see the finished product!!! I like the mental images and the message. Beautiful write, thanks for sharing! |
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DarkenedShadow Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114Kansas |
The start has potential and it will as I know will end up as one of those beautiful works of art. Can't wait for the other side of this write oh and yea I think we all need a break about now. /Nick/ |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
This was a great start, but i need to see the finish before i can go in depth...so far so good Leah. SHow us the ending when u get done with it..ok?? ~Jeff~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this.....so far it's a good start. Hope to see an end soon! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Punk Angel Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 66Pennsylvania, US |
great start, cant wait to c the end!! |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Hey Leah! Sorry I'm late on this one This is an awesome start.. I especially liked the second stanza. The flow and rhyme scheme are very well done thus far.. and I'm REALLY looking forward to the finished product. Awesome job so far!! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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