Breaking spells: Unfinished

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chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-07-25 07:14 PM

Man, i'm into things being unfinished, eh? I may change the title, so...yeah.
This is only PART of what i already have...because i'm still trying the ending. so i'll give you half, and then the rest will come.

=====

As feathered thoughts brushed by my ear.
The magic gently touched my mind
And all who slept were calm of fear
As I walked on silently.
I left this dream world far behind
As wind sang softly in my ear
Like evening larks and ghosts combined
It tugged my shirt quite violently.

Down the road, I seemed to walk
Along the crystal river's bend
A secret soon to be unlocked
A secret found unwillingly.
The clouds and sky began to blend
As rain fell down like dust of chalk
A stranger I was to pretend
A friend was I, but secretly.

=====
More later...wait, i already said something like that...*sigh* Leah need break.

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

pure_innocence
Member

since 2001-07-14

Posts 80
Colorado, US

1 posted 2001-07-25 07:26 PM

Exceptionally good start, I can't wait to see the finished product!!! I like the mental images and the message. Beautiful write, thanks for sharing!

DarkenedShadow
Member

since 2001-07-23

Posts 114
Kansas

2 posted 2001-07-25 08:44 PM

The start has potential and it will as I know will end up as one of those beautiful works of art. Can't wait for the other side of this write oh and yea I think we all need a break about now. /Nick/

JBaker515

Member

since 2001-02-28

Posts 458
Dartmouth College

3 posted 2001-07-25 11:53 PM

This was a great start, but i need to see the finish before i can go in depth...so far so good Leah.

SHow us the ending when u get done with it..ok??

~Jeff~

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-07-26 03:05 AM

I enjoyed this.....so far it's a good start. Hope to see an end soon!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Punk Angel
Member

since 2001-07-25

Posts 66
Pennsylvania, US

5 posted 2001-07-26 12:34 PM

great start, cant wait to c the end!!

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-07-30 11:46 PM

Hey Leah! Sorry I'm late on this one

This is an awesome start.. I especially liked the second stanza. The flow and rhyme scheme are very well done thus far.. and I'm REALLY looking forward to the finished product.

Awesome job so far!!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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