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Teen Poetry #5
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Lisa_bebe15
Member
since 2001-11-15
Posts 151
Florida

0 posted 2002-03-03 04:43 PM


Take my hand my young child,
I can guide you through life.
I can weave you in and out of bad things
and show you some good things about life
like love and friendships.
I will try tohelp you survive this game of life.
but the rules are not that simple
the first rule is I cannot live your life
nor can touch it
only tell you what to do.
I can show you my life
and show you my mistakes I have made
but dont repeat them
or you will turn out like me.
Love will enter your life,
and leave as fast as it came in.
I dont have the answers to life
If I did I would tell you each one
to make you stronger
and to learn what is right and wrong
But you have to make mistakes to live
I want to tell you life is easy,
but it is a sin to lie
rule number two Life is always going to be hard,
so dont think its just a walk on easy street.
you must work and be a leader
not a follower
Take my words my young friend
and watch,
someday you will look back on life,
and say Life wasnt all that bad


"Water Over Matter"

[This message has been edited by Lisa_bebe15 (03-03-2002 04:45 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lisa Ann - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
1 posted 2002-03-03 04:55 PM


Thank you for sharing this poem with us, I enjoyed reading it although I wasn't too keen on the repitition of the word "life" it seemed to me you used it far too often (just my opinion of course) I would have liked to seen you use a variety of different words or phrase to say it instead of just repeating it. Anyway just my opinions and apart from that it was a pleasant read.

See this through and leave my friend, the tears will come and I will end.

LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
2 posted 2002-03-03 05:21 PM


You sound like my mother....and that isnt meant to be a bad comment at all....Great poem andgreat emotion...Life is a word, and jsut a word, but what this poem expresses is excellent and you should be proud..

~LCBS

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2002-03-03 10:02 PM


awesome poem!! Has a lot of truth to it..nicely done hun and keep up the good work!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

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