Teen Poetry #5 |
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weakness |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
this is my weakness crying when i hurt bleeding when i cut weeping when i feel this is my weakness feeling what i feel me being me hurting like i do this is my weakness acting like i do ben being ben crying like i do this is my weakness ben as ben me as me i as i is this a weakness? being ben redshaw the great acting like me loving you and me is this my weakness? me being me crying, and hurting is this my weakness? NO! a wiseman once said "POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!! |
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© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
this is so touching. you've put a lot of really strong emotion into this and i think it comes out a very good poem. Your introspect pays off; great work. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Marshalzu![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work Godsend I really enjoyed the read, well done ![]() Zu "Here we are again Finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol |
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SEA![]() ![]()
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
very well done! ![]() |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Nice message. You should always be yourself, because that's the best that you can be... great job, Ben! I enjoyed this. --Marie "Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising. So this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." –James T |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yeah, good message. A piece of advice I like to give out is to never change who you are for anybody other than yourself. ![]() Well done, Mr Redshaw the Great. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I see you're being strong, and that's a start. keep it up hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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DYME Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 104Texas |
It's good that you love yourself and the way you are. Never change. ![]() No weapon formed against me shall prosper... ISAIAH 54:17 |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Great write here. Always stay Ben. ![]() Keep posting. You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Yes!! Always be you no matter how weird you are! It's amazing how many people watch you to see if you are yourself or not, and if you are yourself, they follow suit and become themselves also! Did that make any sense? Great read!! Rhonda ![]() "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardeil *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nice write...this showed a lot of emotions...and the end...powerful!...good job ![]() ![]() im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
well, I like this poem!! it's got a really good message!! thanks!! (for posting I mean, heehee) I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this one a lot Ben. Very well done! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Nice one Ben. It is obvious that you have put alot of thought into this one. Well done. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Awesome. I loved this, had lots of emotion. I don't think being you could ever be a weakness. Anyway, I really enjoyed htis piece. Keep being you! - Cody - |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I agree with Allan never change for anyone but yourself. Good write!! "Woah my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time"- Unchained Melody |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
nice poem! great work... xscoutx |
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Heavens Tears![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Who can you be but yourself? I have found that even when you change for someone, you are still you, because you become what you make yourself become. Ok, thats a little confusing, but I can explain it to myslf and understand it, thats all that matters. Great poem, and I look forward to more! *Amanda* |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Great write! Very powerful. You put a lot into this. ![]() Until next time... -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
*hmm* I'm kinda late to reply to this one, but oh wellz ![]() ![]() __o0o_Anna_o0o__ *waves* Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
hey ben its me =) hope you get emails when you get replys and hope you have time to read my new poem *hugz* awesome poem talk latterz Scarlet |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Very emotional poem it is a very powerful piece.I loved it keep up the great work. Lauren |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
How did i not get to this poem until i was the 22nd person to reply!? OYYYY!!!! This poem was amazing..it definately does not make you a weak person, in my mind it makes you a stronger person..amazing job ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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