Teen Poetry #5 |
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thinking is bad |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
aye, wut's up all?? i am not sure if i lyk this one...(i usually never lyk my own work) please be honest and reply honestly. help is, and will always be, appreciated. thanks again. oh yeah in thinking by this i mean lyk thinking about the past, and just bad stuff. not thinking about cute little bunnies and crap lyk that. just trying to clear it up. -fear- trapped inside my own mind where troubles run rampant and seldom do i find anyone who can tame this thing they call thinking it seems to only depress me and yet...i need it to breathe sometimes i wish that i could just kill it but then i would die too right along side it ah hell does it even really matter anymore?? i'm already dead it's pretty pathetic when you allow yourself to slowly die don't you agree? why god??? must you torment me this way i'm sorry for what i've done but please i can't deal with this constant pain -fear- i'm a penguin! i'm a penguin! i'm a cute lil penguiiiin! i'm a penguin i'm a penguin! i eat FISH!--tis the pretty penguin song |
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© Copyright 2001 bergundy - All Rights Reserved | |||
zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
It's not your best, but still very good. I can relate a little to it.. sometimes I want to stop thinking.. cause all my thougths are just too heavy... :-/ Usually I try to sleep those times.. when you're sleeping you don't have to think. Oh well. anyways, nice poem ![]() I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you? |
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Starnite Junior Member
since 2001-07-05
Posts 41Wisconsin |
It's ok. I can't get some of the parts but other wise it was good. Keep posting!!!! **Sarah ![]() |
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DarkenedShadow Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114Kansas |
I know what you feel when your writing this... so I do seem to be quite fond of this poem. It attracts my attention and the words seem to flow themselves together. This was magnifecient. Keep it up. /Nick/ |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Actually- I liked this ALOT. I don't know why you don't... I thought it was a completely awesome free-verse. Yo expressed yourself VERY well. More I say! |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I would really encourage punctuation in this one. I got confused a few times with it. Anyhow well done on it. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Raw emotions rock! ![]() The pain in this is so evident that it practically screams at you. "trapped inside my own mind where troubles run rampant" Soooooo can connect with that. Curse these heads of ours!! ![]() ~AF~ "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -- Robin Williams |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
thinking IS bad fear...it hurts my head!!.. ![]() no i liked this poem a lot..i dont know understand why you wouldnt..i could certainly relate to it....especially late at night when i cant sleep ( im a chronic insomniac )...and all i seem to be able to do then is to sit and think...sumtimes it just gets too much...mind overload..especially if youre thinking about an adverse situation....*sighs* good write fear...i like it a lot thanks for sharing it with me.. ![]() ![]() ![]() "Killer in me is a killer in you, my love |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Well i really liked it... clear emotions... good poem ALLIE |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Ooo.. I really like this one. One's mind can be one's own worst enemy. Thinking can be very dangerous indeed... I really liked this one, and connected well. I encourage punctuation, though. Nicely done. I enjoyed this! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
I like this poem, I am not sure why you don't like your poems but I guess thats up to you to decide ![]() "Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." |
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