Constantly Falling ( Kind of depressing : / )

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Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

0 posted 2001-07-17 11:22 AM

Constantly falling
You won’t stop recalling
The beatings and bawling
That you had to weather
Hopelessly hiding
You turn to confiding
In losers just riding
You so they feel better
But you cant see why it
Hurts you to deny it
So you don’t defy it
You call it your own
And you just pretend
Cause you feel in the end
That to bleed and to bend
Is better than alone
Until one gray morning
When you wake with warning
From sickness of scorning
And people that use you
But you’ve slept to long
To know what’s right and wrong
Or where you now belong
In this world that abused you
So back to your violence
You stumble in silence
Weak from the defiance
That you could not learn
To live there in sorrow
In fear of tomorrow
And what it may borrow
And never return

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

1 posted 2001-07-17 12:04 PM

That was kinda sad, but I liked it. I like the style you used for this poem. The rhyme secquence was awesome. Can't wait to read more.

Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by.

Angelwings
Member

since 1999-08-27

Posts 222
IL, USA

2 posted 2001-07-17 01:59 PM

Kevin~
It is a sad poem, but it is also very true. I can feel the emotions in this poem. Sometimes if we are beaten down enough we no longer can see which direction is up. Great poem, thanks for sharing.

*that what does not kill us makes us stronger!*

*I have this theory that if were told we're bad. Then that's the only idea we'll ever have. Maybe

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

3 posted 2001-07-17 04:54 PM

Hey,

Kevin, this is really good work. I like poems short and sweet but, this poem I really enjoyed. I am going to put it into my library. It and no dout your other will grace the tops of my library. I am lookin forword to your next poem, until then

-- Linc

       "Blood Moon"
   Host: Lark.crodo.com
         Port:1313

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-07-17 06:50 PM

I really enjoyed this. I haven't seen you around much, so I hope I see more of your soon

Nicely done here.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

5 posted 2001-07-17 08:16 PM

I really liked this alot Kevin.
The stle you used was great and the poem itself was wonderful. More I say!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-07-18 11:55 PM

I really loved the style in this one. Wonderful job! I found it to be awesome.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

7 posted 2001-07-19 03:06 AM

I liked this poem a lot. It was kind of sad, but it sounded great. The style and rhyme scheme of this just made the poem all the better. I really liked this.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

8 posted 2001-07-19 07:49 AM

While reading this, I could really feel great amounts of emotion. One thing that you should watch is the flow in this. It was a little out in some places.
I did enjoy it but maybe if you revise it and make it run like clockwork, it will be a real winner.
Thanks for the read, Kevin.

~AF~

Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me...

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