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Teen Poetry #5
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The First "Moment"
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The First "Moment" |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Time stops Eyes lock Your hand covers mine You draw closer The world disappears There is only me and you I wonder if you feel it too It seems like forever Till your lips reach mine And I wonder how it will feel When they touch for the first time Fireworks explode inside I love having you by my side Your arm wraps around me You move the hair gently from my eyes My whole body begins to sigh As quickly as our first moment began It now has come to an end. You pull away The world outside reappears The sounds of the street I once again hear With your hand still in mine Smiles on our faces we return To the real world and the hands of time It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Nikki - All Rights Reserved | |||
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
That's sweet! The first kiss is always one of the best, but one of the most akward too. I liked this one alot. It was a very nice piece. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Damn Nikki! I REALLY REALLY liked this! The description was so real! Amazing write her- I really enjoyed it.  |
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Angelwings Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222IL, USA |
Nikki~ I told you it was a great poem! I think you definately made a wonderful moment come to life for the reader. Thanx for sharing. And don't be sad about "moments" soon you'll be making a new one! Love you! chez-lee *that what does not kill us makes us stronger!* |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Your descriptions in this piece are absolutely fantastic!! I really enjoyed this. It was so well written... the way you portrayed the love for the this person the way everything vanished when you were close was really awesome. Nice work!! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning... |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Thanks for replying everyone...your words were all very kind and I am glad you enjoyed this piece...this is actually one my recent favorites that I have written. Thanks to you all!!! Always, Nikki It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked this one. Such a sweet display of events and emotions. Well done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
This was a brilliant descriptive poem, it showed all of the feelings and memories of the first kiss, I really liked this one. Keep writing!! ^*~Kicking Kim~*^  "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Great poem. Very discriptive. Unfortunately, I don't know how u feel. lol Oh well, maybe someday.  hehe Well, good job! Keep writin. - Cody - |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i cant say it enough...the discription was awesome...you did VERY well on expressing this, Nikki ...i liked it lots...sweet poem.im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Nikki, this read so true to the heart. It's a really nice piece. Be happy with it. ~AF~ Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me... |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
I liked thie piece, I think that you used a lot of detail. I hope to read more. Keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front." |
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