Teen Poetry #5 |
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Remember me |
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Mykels_Angel Junior Member
since 2001-06-25
Posts 38australia |
I WROTE ANOTHER SONG!! hut hum here it is *caugh* *caugh* *clears throat and begins to sing* Will you remember me when im dead Will you remember me when im gone. Will you remember me when im dead Remember me Will you remember me when the skies are greay Will you remember me when the sun is going down Will you remember me when the sky is greay Will you remember me when the sun is going down Will you cry when im not here Will you feel pain when im not around Please remember me, Remember me, Remember me. Will you cry when im not here will you feel pain when im not around. Please remember me, remember me, remember me. Will you remember me when our child cries Will you remember me on the day of my birthday Will you remember me when you close your eyes at night........ And wonder why your all alone. Will you remember me when you cant sleep Will you remember me when you start to weep Will you remember me oh will you remember me WILL YOU EVER REMEMBER ME!! Forget my name Forget my face Forget my kiss and warm embrace Forget the love that one was true Remember now theres someone new For im gone now gone now forever. Will you remember me when your sick in the head will you remember me when im long long dead remember me remember remember REMEMBER ME!!! end to fade.... *CLAP* 8CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP* ARENT I SUCH A GENIUS!!! I sang this to our producer and he offered us 10 thousand bucks!! well i Hope u like this.... if u dont... i dont give a ratts ass CuZ IM RICH NOW!!!!! WOOHOOO HAHAHA EEEEHEHEHEHHEHE!!!! |
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© Copyright 2001 Sarah Alford - All Rights Reserved | |||
Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This was a well written song. I didn't like the repitition much, but I liked the res tof the content. Nicely done ![]() --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Tamma![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
I really liked this one. I for one, like the repitition. ![]() "A friend's shoulder makes a |
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Alexia![]()
since 2001-06-07
Posts 164Sweet And Sassy |
I liked your song! It wuz good! Alexia If I tell you I love you, Can I keep you? |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I agree w/ Marie... The repetition got old- but other than that I liked it. |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
Sarah ![]() im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
The song didn't much fit my fancy, but congrats on the 10k...lol Good luck. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I liked it a lot. I also like the repetition. However, it can either make or break a song. Some people like it, some don't. I personally try not to use it because of that, most people who do like it will be able live without it, and the people who don't like repetition will love the song that way. - Cody - |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Sarah I personally really didn't like this one. It lacked something that your songs usually have. The repitition seemed over used. But hey, it might have to be sung to really understand it. ![]() ~AF~ Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me... |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Nicely done, although what EJ says is true: Songs make more sense when they're song. But that doesn't mean this doesn't makes sense. Anywho, keep it up! ![]() -Hael (I've taken to signing my name backwards for some odd reason...) Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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