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jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2001-07-16 11:54 PM

'Gnawing Burden'

Recollecting the events that flood my mind
Such as the romance that teases me so
Memories simply fade my eyes to a blind
Pulling me back and forth as they go

Reflections ago wont leave me to be
They fog my head only with stress
Fighting the past to a halt isn’t easy
It’s what has left my life a mess

So here I sink into my depressive state
And run with the wrong feelings once more
Nothing can cure and no one can relate
And there’s nothing more of life to adore

Wipe the past and strengthen the present
Is what my destiny shall forever be
I shall make my life better to an extent
And live in this world triumphantly

-JR

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2001-07-17 02:52 AM

Nothing can cure and no one can relate
And there’s nothing more of life to adore

wow this is awesome jd..i enjoyed it alot thanks for the great read!!

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

2 posted 2001-07-17 03:34 PM

thanks cherish... its been a while since ive posted.

-JR

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-07-17 06:13 PM

This is VERY well writte, Jeremy. It's nice to see your name back up on the pages of Teen. I've missed you around here..
I really enjoyed this. The rhyme scheme was very well done, and although the flow broke in a few places, the meter was professional. Nicely done. My favorite stanza was the third... You really put a lot of emotion into this piece. That's always a very good thing

Nice work, Jeremy. Look forward to reading more, hopefully soon.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

4 posted 2001-07-18 12:12 PM

thanks a lot... i appreciate the response.

-JR

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

5 posted 2001-07-19 03:40 AM

I liked this peice. I could feel the emotion in it as I read it. I liked it, good job. Glad to see you post again.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-07-19 04:22 AM

Well done here jer! I liked it and it's nice to see that you have blessed us with one of your poems. Allan even wrote a epitaph about you since you haven't been here for a long time.
I enjoyed this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

7 posted 2001-07-19 11:57 AM

This was a great poem. I really enjoyed this one. It's good to see you back.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

8 posted 2001-07-19 12:05 PM

Nice write man...
look foreward to seeing more of you

Shygirl82
Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 245
Ilinois

9 posted 2001-07-19 06:37 PM

This was great. My favorite part was also the third stanza...it had alot of emotion in it. Thanks for sharing and I am looking forward to reading more from you.
~Nikki~

It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them.

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