Teen Poetry #5 |
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impossible feelings |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
discomfort cann't describe it simply pain that doesn't hurt icey defeat life isnt the same where am i going lost and confused pain that hurts to much to be pain it must be something more though i have no recognition of this pain i have always never felt before alone and disillusioned life is all over the place and i have yet to move stuck in the same place since the dawning of time spilling my soul out for you to read slow roasting since my first cognitive thought and this is what i am reduced to |
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© Copyright 2002 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
wow ben, this was -so- strong. youre writing has grown since i last read from you. and i like it alot. think you did very well on this. sometimes.. i feel the same way. keep writing. “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
And so the Great Ben Redshaw returns. *Bows* Now if you would only learn to email people... *cough* Anywho, super huggles! Good write here buddy boy, I agree with Tiff, your writing is really improving over time and it's super spiffy. Keep in touch this time, kays? Lots of Luvvles Ali "Whatever life brings, I've been through everything, but now I'm on my knees again" -Creed |
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never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
Well, that's odd. Bennerz, posting? :P I liiike it. It's short, but to the point. Although, it's very illusioned in that I could say I feel the same way sometimes, but I don't necessarily understand all the different paths you want this poem to take. It's really well written, buddy. I especially liked: "though i have no recognition of this pain i have always never felt before" (mostly because of the way you used "always never," and I quite enjoyed that) -as well as- "and this is what i am reduced to" (very lovely ending, nice way to draw it all together and bring your mind to a close, halting thoughts) Luv ya *hugz* __o0o_AnnA_o0o__ Friends r angels who lift u 2 ur feet when ur wings have trouble remembering how 2 fly. |
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Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
life is all over the place and i have yet to move 'stuck in the same place since the dawning of time spilling my soul out for you to read slow roasting since my first cognitive thought and this is what i am reduced to' We should all be so reduced.... I enjoyed this much. |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
wow benny boy i loved it!! it was really awesome!! email me sometime you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Not bad, truely. This felt scattered all over the place, and contradicted itself- but in a good kind of way. Nice. Jenn Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
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marmaladeskies New Member
since 2003-01-17
Posts 2Missouri |
i miss you. |
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