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Teen Poetry #5
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Otaku
Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 39
Western Australia

0 posted 2002-08-30 10:44 AM


With such flair and dignity
She releases the warm water and
Wears her apron,
Like a brave knight preparing his armour.

Her yielding hands begin to move
As peacefully as a thousand feathers lost in the endless sky...

She gently enriches the temperate water with
Soothing dishwashing liquid...
And calmly watches it dissipate
Throughout...

Without making a single noise,
She quietly moves her tender hand
Towards the side, and
Silently possesses a dish...

Wipe.

And then

Rinse.

Her enchanted touch leaves the
Solitary dish in a trance of
Heavenly goodness...

She places the dish
Carefully on the rack,
Like a mother settling her child
In a cradle.

And yet her eyes gleam of beauty,
As the pure light illuminating from the glass
Excels across her delicate face..

Wipe.

And then

Rinse.


She finds happiness in
Washing dishes...


© Copyright 2002 Otaku - All Rights Reserved
skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
1 posted 2002-08-30 02:27 PM


I thought your style was really good in this one and I liked the repetition. You made this person sound so special, like even just a boring thing like washing dishes was made interesting when she did it. Very interesting Otaku!

--Beth

Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping.

paper doll
Member
since 2002-08-04
Posts 133
Floating on Uncertainty
2 posted 2002-08-31 05:01 AM


Rather than taking this at face value, I took this down a notch and really delved into the meaning behind washing dishes. Essentially, it could be referred to wiping parts of a life away and rinsing away the dirt. This requires more of an explanation and I'm too sick to really give so that well done, thanks for the read.

~M

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

Tiger
Junior Member
since 2002-08-18
Posts 24
Queensland, Australia
3 posted 2002-09-01 02:22 AM


Very interesting and thanks for the inspiration to develop fresh poetry.

~*I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you*~

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
4 posted 2002-09-02 03:59 PM


I love the similies, and the way that you showed her personality Good job!
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