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Teen Poetry #5

Innocence erased

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

0 posted 2002-08-26 01:30 AM

Crystal blue shimmering sky,
The grass so soft to the touch of feet.
Cracking thunder,
like whips on my back.
The rain falls like bullets against my body,
erasing the innocence in my face.
Tears numbing all pain,Waiting for you to come back,
But with the flutter of a shivering moth,
The world turns grey again.
````````````````````````````````

Not sure if I like this poem yet.

I cant see past all the pain and torture that goes on in the places we call,
home.
~Azi

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

1 posted 2002-08-26 03:45 AM

Match-
Well, I do...like it, that is.
You've used some great imagery in this,
and I could see the whole thing.
Great write.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

2 posted 2002-08-26 07:12 AM

I like this very much, very atmospheric,
anya

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