Teen Poetry #5 |
my first poem |
unspoken love New Member
since 2002-08-25
Posts 2Maryland, USA |
Do They Really Know Me? The world thought they knew, What it was like to be me, They think Im happy, They think Im free, In my heart I feel trapped with all the hate, With no one to love, No one to date, Little did they know, They were told wrong, How much I hurt, How much I long, I long for the moment when I meet Mr.Right, When we dont argue, Nor do we fight, No one has an idea of what goes on in my head, As I sit and wonder, Alone and cold in bed, They think my life is perfect, They think my life is great, If they only knew my heart is filled with so much hate, Everyone says you should forgive and forget, but thats hard to do when all I do is fret, Everything in my life is difficult, And it seems like its all my fault, I wish everyone would know how I feel, And what its like to be me, But then I think, Would they treat me any differently? |
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© Copyright 2002 Alyson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Smiles and Cries Junior Member
since 2002-08-23
Posts 16Newrk De |
This was pretty good, some of the rhymes could be worked on such as forget and fret...fret didnt seem to fit the line but overall i liked the poem Have u ever Loved somebody so much it makes u cry? Have u ever needed something so bad u cant sleep at night? Have u ever tried to find the words but |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
I liked this a lot....so many times people don't see what a person is really like "inside." It can be so difficult. Well done, welcome to Passions! ~Beth P.S. Check your email for a special greeting! Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping. [This message has been edited by skyshine (08-25-2002 02:36 PM).] |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
Hey I think we all feel this some times, you got those feelings down quite well, I will look forward to seeing more of your poems anya |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
wow i know the feeling in this poem awesome work keep it up! you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I really liked this one. You did a very good job... I totally know what this is like, and you have portrayed the feelings of it very well. Welcome to passions! - Cody - |
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Match Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286Canada Edmonton |
*claps* really liked this one I cant see past all the pain and torture that goes on in the places we call, |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Ahhh yes...the perky-girl syndrome. I have it too. You grow up and are taught to be peppy and happy and not show how much everything bothers you sometimes. It's hard, very hard, to bottle up real feelings. You need to learn to let some of it out or you'll go crazy. Great start here, I liked it. Rhyming isn't really my thing, but to those who can do it, go for it. Welcome to PIP Jenn Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
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