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The Bigger Man
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Bigger Man |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
"The Bigger Man" © 2002 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved In the bar late last night, The drunking pool sharks Wanted to start a fight. This dude came up to me, Said: you got a problem son? Cuz then we can hit the street. I thought; "This is too lame", Looked him deep in the eyes Said: "It's such a shame". Then I finished my beer, And while he was screaming I said: "Im outta here". For I'm the bigger man... Yes Im the bigger man... There were a traffic jam, About six AM Stuck in this rusty can. The crowed was getting stressed, Honking, flying curs words There were no time to rest. Snails were gaining on us, Almost went backwards The hour wouldn't rush. And then down came the rain, Folks got scared and confused Some even went insane. (But bot me) Cuz' I'm the bigger man... Yes, I'm the bigger man... Went to the liquor store, With some friends 'round noon Then they said: "Guard the door". Cuz we are gonna "shop", Thought to myself "Hell no" And that was the last drop. The begged and pleaded me, To come have some fun But I saw what they didn't see. Cuz I'm the bigger man... Yes, I'm the bigger man... |
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| © Copyright 2002 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I really liked the story that you told within this piece with each separate stanza. I think it's a great thing that you can safely say that you are the bigger man!! The only suggestion I have is to check your second stanza where you used the phrase "There were a traffic jam". It would be gramatically correct and much easier to read if you changed that to "There was..." Anyways, I don't mean to point out mistakes, I just really enjoyed this poem and think it would be a shame if such a little mistake took away from it, ya know? Great job with this!!  Always, Nikki *~Fighting for your love~* |
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