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Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

0 posted 2002-08-22 02:04 AM

My suicidal thoughts have long lain dormant,
my alcohol and drug addiction is leaving.
I've struggled through, knowing it's not right
for me to lay all my troubles on others.
I've gotten the help that I need,
made the decision to quit.
Maybe I'll have a hard time,
but when it's offered, I will say no.
No more drunkeness,
no more highs.
No more hangovers,
no more munchies.
I'm learning to live the life I want to
and to accept the world the way it is.
Heartbreak comes to everyone
no need to let loose in addictions.
I made this decision this morning,
as I bent over the sink in misery.
Tylenol not taking effect,
floors still crooked,
the world still hysterical.
That isn't the life that I want for myself,
that isn't the life that I love.
Being hungover and coming down is not fun at all.
Throwing up on the floor and seeing the world tip over isn't either.
Maybe this will get pulled;
before it does though, maybe my message will get across:
Alcohol makes you lose your sense.
Drugs make you lose your mind.
Neither is worth it, and it's easier to say no than to struggle through withdrawl once you're addicted.
Don't do it.
Don't make the mistake I made.
It's just not worth it.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2002-08-22 02:11 AM

Alrighty. Author's notes time.
Yes, I was suicidal. A long time ago. That's all taken care of though, and I've found a joy in life.
On and off I've turned to alcohol to "forget". Last night I didn't forget; I just remembered, and felt things that weren't 100% true. I'm going to stop drinking.
Lately I've turned to drugs to "forget". Again, I didn't forget, I remembered way too much. I come down and I hit rock bottom again.
To those of you who know me, yes I'm a Christian. But I'm also human; one who's made a lot of mistakes in the recent past. I'm getting the help that I need now, and I'm done with that. If I can't find my joy and highs in my Lord, then I won't find them anywhere. I hope that you guys who know me well can forgive me for not telling you this stuff. I didn't want to admit I had a problem.
To the rest of you: Don't do drugs. If you've never done 'em, you don't know how hard it is to stop, and how easily you can get addicted. A lot of people don't realise how much trouble one can get into with the law.
I apologise if this went over guidelines, but I felt that if I can reach even one person who's considering trying drugs, then I've accomplished what I wanted to when I wrote this.

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

2 posted 2002-08-22 07:45 AM

This was wonderfully done, and I happen to agree with you, substance abuse is not the answer. Don't be too hard on yourself, because even the best of us make those mistakes.

It happens, you learn and grow.

Stay safe
Jenn

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

3 posted 2002-08-22 12:13 PM

I think it is brave of you to post such an honest and open poem, well done and it is priceless advise you are offering here, i hope you continue to beat your addictions, I know how much of a monumental task that can be
anya

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

4 posted 2002-08-22 01:45 PM

Wow, this was brutally honest and I definitely give you props for posting a poem dealing with such a personal issue. I'm very glad that you've decided to take another approach to your problems, and your intentions in posting this were great. Keep up the grrreat work!!

Always,
Nikki

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

5 posted 2002-08-22 04:57 PM

I see absolutely no reason to pull this. It's tough subject matter, yes, but there is no glorification of drugs, alcohol, or self-harm. In fact, you've shown us the "non-glamorous" side, the one that no one wants to go through. Best of luck with all you do.

~Beth

You look inside my wild mind
never knowing what you'll find
still I want you all the time
yeah I do
'cause you get me
~Michelle Branch

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

6 posted 2002-08-22 08:00 PM

*hugs*

Superbly done, Rhonda. You know I'm right there/here for you.

Sincerely,
Daniel 'Titus' Redding

"I'll prepare myself, and one day my time will come."
-Abraham Lincoln

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

7 posted 2002-08-25 02:23 AM

Rhonda-
This is such a valuable message and I applaud
you for having the strength and courage to
share it with all of us.
Always remember that you have the support of
friends. I/we are here when you need us.
Great big hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

8 posted 2002-08-26 04:51 PM

This is such a brilliant message to any one who might be think or who has just started drinking excessively or taking drugs, I've seen what it has done to some of my best friends and it is heart breaking to even think of, so I'd urge you to play safe and get your highs by safer means.

Rhonda this is such a brilliant message you are trying to get out, although in parts it seemed a little to close to rambling for my own personal taste, although this was more than balanced by the fact that you haven't held back anything and given a very honest account of your experiences, something so raw as this, with a message that is so important in today's modern society makes this poem an extremely compulsive read. Anyway I hope you are OK and just remember I'm always here if you want to talk or vent

Andrew

Mister Zu: A self confessed cannibal

[email protected]

kirhar
Junior Member

since 2003-04-29

Posts 13

9 posted 2003-04-29 09:19 PM

wow, your story is so touching and can teach everyone a lesson on how to deal with problems...dudes, drugs and alcohol are not the way to go...skyfire, you have the most courage ive ever seen...way to go...keep up the good work...

Barbara
Junior Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 32

10 posted 2003-05-11 03:02 PM

Wow... thats a story....... and a poem, it reminds me of the time when I wanted to die...

PEOPLE: WHAT MUST I DO OR PRESS OR GO ON WHICH SIDE TO POST A POEM HERE? PLEASE TELL ME! I DONT KNOW!

sixington
Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 53
Utah

11 posted 2003-07-14 01:49 PM

This is such an honest poem. It really reached me, and it definately made me think. It made me cry, because i have so many of the same problems, but i don't want to quit. I know it will be hard for you, so best luck, and thank you for trying to reach us all.

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

12 posted 2004-07-06 02:11 AM

ahh well arent drugs quite the struggle, nice write

so honest and open.

http://www.nexopia.com/profile.php?uid=34810 <--all me baby!

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