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Green Envy
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Green Envy |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Droplets of water trickle, Down a spine of uneven length, As leaves sing to the light of the moon. Eyes titillate with drops of leaf like flavor. Boots of boldness swallow trenches of mud, As my headband remains glued with sweaty impulse. Vines of lengthy proportion stand feverishly tall, As my hands corral the endless wonders, I swing with envious delight. My brashness distills my triumph, As my journey comes to a halt, My heart succumbs to the faintest drop. I embraced a mystique of green envy, As I prolonged my breaths of wisdom. I created a mist of bewilderment, as my journey became an obsession. [This message has been edited by Tomer (08-20-2002 02:49 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Boots of boldness swallow trenches of mud Love this line As for the poem as a whole, I think there is a fine line between wonderful imagery as much of this poem has, and overdoing it a little, I guess I just disagree with some of the word choices, they seemed to be reaching for a different way to say things rather than me seeing the words you used and going ooooo that word was MEANT to describe that I'm sure its just a matter of taste, but I thought my opinion might be of interest to you |
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