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nichola_louise
Junior Member

since 2002-08-17

Posts 24
Adelaide, Australia

0 posted 2002-08-19 01:56 AM

The jagged edge presses deep,
Faith biting into skin,
Releasing all emotions
And freeing the demons within.

Succumbing to the peacefulness
As the pain ebbs away.
The note you left says nothing
But you've nothing left to say.

In the hollow of your soul
Is a rightness for your course,
A tower built so solid
It withstands all reason's force.

All over now as sleep takes hold,
A night, tonight, an end.
Beliefs and fears and failings
No longer to defend.

[This message has been edited by nichola_louise (08-19-2002 01:58 AM).]

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2002-08-19 02:18 AM

"The note you left says nothing
But you've nothing left to say."

I love it! I was just like "woah!" when I read that. It was like you were writing it to end a relationship or something... tell me if I'm wrong though

nichola_louise
Junior Member

since 2002-08-17

Posts 24
Adelaide, Australia

2 posted 2002-08-19 02:30 AM

It is about me letting go a of pain a very close friend caused me. Im glad you liked it......please feel free to e-mail me is you have any other comments

nichola_louise@hotmail.com

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2002-08-19 11:51 AM

I, too, enjoyed that line.
It was excellent.
This poem is very strong and clearly exhibits the strong emotion that you feel about the subject matter.
Oh yeah, WELCOME TO PASSIONS!

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

4 posted 2002-08-19 01:25 PM

Hey there,
I liked this piece quite a bit!!! You expressed yourself very well, and that makes for good poetry. Sometimes we've got to let go of someone/something, although it may hurt, because ultimately it will hurt more if we do not. I think you wrote this very well!!

Always,
Nikki

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

5 posted 2002-08-19 02:25 PM

I got so many different ideas from this poem (which is a good sign of a good poem. I found at first I was thinking that the pain was so bad the "character" wished to end it, but that thier religion stopped them, then after you explained it was about a friendship ending, I got even more confused. I hope you write out all the pain that you are feeling, Passions is a wonderful place with caring people that will listen. Welcome to the home of Passions.

The most valuable thing you own is a smile, wear it, and share it.
Sharon

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

6 posted 2002-08-19 06:34 PM

Whoa...This was really, really...great. I can't really say anything original that hasn't already been said, heh. I love the line that Skyfire mentioned, too...

I'm looking forward for more of your poetry.

~Carly

"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions."
~David Borenstein

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