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Teen Poetry #5

EverLasting

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-08-16 10:26 PM

I know I haven't been here in a while, so I am back! This is one of my most recent! Enjoy!

watch me as i go
laughing so easily
what you cannot see
will not hurt you for now

deep into time
you will find out
my solitude of secret
the tears wasted in black

ever lasting smiles
hung up with a nail
tacked into the endless time
for now they will stay

crying wet pain
late into the night
shuddering scared
silvery kiss

wishing starlite nights
that normal would return
that everlasting comes
some far enough to hold

Better check that I'm about to upset and I'm glad now so you better step back I'm taking over so watch me shine-Joanna Pacitti/Watch Me Shine

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

1 posted 2002-08-17 02:21 PM

loved the imagery in this. it flowed pretty well and i liked the wording. I especially liked these two stanzas:

quote:
deep into time
you will find out
my solitude of secret
the tears wasted in black

ever lasting smiles
hung up with a nail
tacked into the endless time
for now they will stay

good luck and keep writing.
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

"Words are windows to the heart."

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