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Teen Poetry #5
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What do you do?
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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What do you do? |
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luckyducky_505 Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 53Kentucky, USA |
What do you do when you have this feeling so true? When it makes you so blue, That you don't know what to do? What do you do when nothing else seems to matter, Besides what he does? When nothing seems as right as him by your side? When every time you think of him You can't help but smile? Sure your saying just be with him, But what do you do when he lives 3 hours away, And he has no idea what your feeling? Do you call him and tell him, Or do you just sit there and sigh? I love you one moment, And the next you're the most hateful guy? So tell me my friends is there a life where Everyone you love is right by your side? Because if there is please, I'm asking move us there together And I'll love you and him forever and ever. [This message has been edited by luckyducky_505 (edited 07-16-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tiffany L. McDonald - All Rights Reserved | |||
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pure_innocence Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 80Colorado, US |
Wow!!! I really liked that, you rhyming structure wasn't what I'm used to but I really enjoyed the message it sent and fortunatly I can say that I can't relate personally.  Thanks for sharing, keep it up. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
"What do you do when you have this feeling so true? When it makes you so blue, That you don't know what to do? What do you do when nothing else seems to matter, Besides what he does? When nothing seems as right as him by your side? When every time you think of him You can't help but smile?" i loved the first two stanzas...thats exactly how i feel these days...you written your feelings VERY well..i related to this im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Alright Ducky- I liked the first stanza best-I could relate alot to that one. I thought the rhyme scheme was a bit odd though... Great write though.  |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"What do you do when nothing else seems to matter, Besides what he does? When nothing seems as right as him by your side? When every time you think of him You can't help but smile?" That stanza hit home. I really enjoyed this! THis poem's full of emotion... Wonderful write. I'm impressed, and I'm looking forward to reading more soon! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning... |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
I loved this, i especially liked the first 2 stanza's, they say exactly what i feel. i loved this great job It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
i enjuyed this poem a lot...everybody else seemed to like it too...so you must be doing sumthing right!!!..thanks for sharing i hope to read more !! |
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luckyducky_505 Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 53Kentucky, USA |
THANK YOU EVERYBODY!!! I didn't realy try on this one so this really makes me think! ThHanks again!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this one. The way you wrote it was very well done. I hope to see some more from you.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Feelings like this are so frustrating. I could really relate to you loving him then hating him at another time. I hope things work out for you. ~AF~ Tearless grief bleeds inwardly. |
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