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Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

0 posted 2001-07-12 11:15 AM

I know,
nothing.
I feel,
scared.
       Hurt,Lost Abandoned.
I speak,
love.
I hear,
hate.
       Loud, painful, dark.
I breathe,
death.
I touch,
confusion.
        Cold, quiet, alone.
I smell,
lies.
I bleed,
truth.
        Calm, warm, bright.
I dream,
wishes.
I scream,
quietly.
       Sincere, dull, unmoving.
I wish,
tears.
I love,
you.
     Cheerful, caring, me.

This is kinda different, its my first one like this-Be gentle

thanks for reading!

"Like, yeah."-the famous cheerleaders
"And if I say yes, what do I get?"-again the famous cheerleaders

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

1 posted 2001-07-12 11:38 AM

i liked it a lot, it was good, every word fits into place and the flow was smooth.

Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

2 posted 2001-07-12 07:00 PM

thanks...my friend told me it just has something a little catchy about it...maybe its the flow..

"I wanna be bad"-willa ford

destiny502
Member

since 1999-11-23

Posts 57
OH

3 posted 2001-07-12 07:54 PM

I really like poetry like this..its my favorite kind to read. the one word emotions and all that..its cool. you should write more like it

Love can sometimes be like magic, but magic can sometimes..just be illusion

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-07-12 10:16 PM

wow...i loved this piece

...written very well...awesome job!...the ending, the format choice of words, the feelings everything was just wonderful!

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

5 posted 2001-07-13 02:49 PM

I agree with your friend...it does have a lil something catchy to it.
I like it.
It's one of my more favorite of the recent posts of yours.
Good job.

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

6 posted 2001-07-13 03:14 PM

I really liked this one. The form was interesting, but it gave the poem a wonderful effect. Great job!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

7 posted 2001-07-14 09:06 PM

thanks guys

"I wanna be bad"-willa ford

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2001-07-16 02:28 AM

I didn't particularly like the format here. But I liked the content, nicely done there. Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to seeing more from you.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

9 posted 2001-07-17 07:48 PM

I thought the format actually gave it a punch. The material was just fine too. Overall I liked the poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

10 posted 2001-07-22 03:11 AM

The way you started out was really good. It was dark and unhappy and you had me. Then you went happy and lost me.

The format is unique and pretty creative so you get points for that.

Thanks for the read, Alyssa.

~AF~

Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.
~ Christian Nevell Bovee ~

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