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Teen Poetry #5
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Sea Glass
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Sea Glass |
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Nazera29 Junior Member
since 2002-08-14
Posts 34Connecticut |
Someday I'm going to be alone in thes big world and There will be no piece of sea glass paired with me; I will be the sole shard at the bottom of your sink after you wash out your bathing suit I will be alone and dreaming of the day you return to me to pick me up and marvel at my crystal shining beauty and you wonder how you ever lost me in the first place I will sit on the porcelain, fighting against every wave of her dishwater until you stumble onto me, until you tell her to leave me alone and you choose me this time I will lie in your hands, like I always did and I will trust you not to lose me again *We are the hero in our own story* |
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| © Copyright 2002 Jessica - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
ooo I like this...your metaphor is quite unique  If you were my piece of sea glass I would keep you with me forever and ever and believe me, then you would be begging to be washed away... Excellent work ~Lisa P.S. love the signature |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey, first off, welcome to passions, it's always cool to see new members. this poem really blew me away, it's a great metaphor and i loved the last two lines. you definetly caught my attention, can't wait to read more from you. -bergundy- maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio- |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
loved this metaphor, really enjoyed the images created in this poem anya |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
I take full credit for recruiting Ms. Nazera She's a beautiful poet guys watch out now |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
OOOoooooh. This was really neat. Each time I re-read I love it more...Good job, Kev, for recruiting her.  I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this nummy poetry.~Carly "Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
Don't listen to him, she came because my presence was calling her My first posts here were lucky to get 2 replies....Both of Jess' get 5  ...well now 6.~Lisa |
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Nazera29 Junior Member
since 2002-08-14
Posts 34Connecticut |
haha, lisa, kevin, dont fight! there is enough of my love to go around! thanks everyone *We are the hero in our own story* |
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paper doll Member
since 2002-08-04
Posts 133Floating on Uncertainty |
Nice post. I think it would read a lot better if you broke up the lines a little more. It reads more like prose than a poem so if you were going for prose you've done a well enough job but otherwise break 'em up. ~M Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality. |
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