»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
accents of shame
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
accents of shame |
|
|
anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
Accents of shame surround me when you see us together and the stare from your disapproving eyes burns and blisters my skin, whispers chase me, they never tire till they bring me down and you won't stop till my privacy is peeled away, the layers of my life are stripped and I'm scrubbed down till my supposed sin is gone, the silence in this house screams to me, a tide of anger washes over me, cause I shattered your idea of me and it can't be fixed. So now everytime you say you love me you want my eyes to fill with gratitude, but I can't, I won't cause I'm not sorry anymore just sad that you can't see, that the world keeps turning, time keeps moving, everything changes, even me and however much you'd like to protect me from the lows of this life all you doing is stopping me getting to my highs |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Anne Hegarty - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I enjoyed this very much. A great piece of writing. It reminded me of the relationship I have with my father. Sad really, but you captured just the same situation in your poem. In truth, what defines us is our poetry. |
||
punkrockerrobin 
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
great poem i really liked it hope to see more from you. tks for the read. robin you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all |
||
|
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey, yet again i think your poem is good (sorry for being general lol, but tis the truth) the lines that stood out to me are: the layers of my life are stripped and I'm scrubbed down till my supposed sin is gone. and So now everytime you say you love me you want my eyes to fill with gratitude, but I can't, I won't cause I'm not sorry anymore they just spoke to me, which i think is one of the highest compliments someone can give a poet. beautiful piece. the last line was a bit confusing, but i think you just may have a few typos and whatnot. happens to the best of us. -bergundy- maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio- |
||
|
anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
yeah the last line was supposed to be 'but all your are doing is stopping me getting to my highs' meaning that in the process of trying to shelter and protect me thay are stopping me having fun |
||
|
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
I love your work anya. man, I'm begging you to clean it up grammar wise though your words deserve better  |
||
|
anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
I have avoided admitting this on here but I am dyslexic and so my spelling and grammar are not always up to scratch but hey I'll keep trying, it's not that bad but it might help explain some of the mistakes I make |
||
|
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Anya feel free to email me your poems and I will work with you as best as I can You remain quite the poet |
||
|
anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
thanks that is very kind of you anya |
||
|
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
anya, i absolutely -loved- this. it spoke volumes. i've gone/have been going in a similar situation and i can just never word it or put it down in a verbal, literate way as you have. i think you did a wonderful job on this and plan to start reading your work more. This is the first piece i've read of you. you have impressed me very much. I especially loved these lines: quote: and quote: tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
