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I am mike
New Member

since 2002-08-14

Posts 1

0 posted 2002-08-14 04:41 AM

I'm writing this poem to let it be said,
The thoughts that i'm thinking inside my head.
And i'm praying to God that he'll show me the light,
'Cos a resolution to my problems is out of my sight.

I take one step forward then three steps reverse,
This vicious circle i'm in feels like a curse.
I'm lost without a map and there's no way out,
And no one can hear my scream, cry or shout.

My girlfriend i have, but does she have me?
How can i be hers if myself i cant be?
I'm scared she'll see through me with her two blue eyes,
And dislike the real me behind this disguise.

I purchase the brand names, an image i bear
Temporary acceptance throught the clothes that i wear.
It's depressing, i know that i'm selling my soul,
Conformity on me has taken its toll.

I know my mum loves me, my step-dad i'm not sure,
He provides for me financially, but i need something more.
More valuable than possessions or monetary gain,
Is the love which from him i will never obtain.

My education is successful as far as school goes,
But myself and my problems, no teacher knows.
And as far as the subject of life is concerned,
I'm failing, i know there's nothing i've learned.

My real dad, he left me, to start over again,
Oblivious to the damage to me that remain.
And i constantly wonder if he was still here,
If my life would be better, my future more clear?

And now that i've said all i set out to say,
I guess i'll just wait and pray for the day
That God in his power will show me the light,
'Cos a resolution to my problems is out of my sight.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

1 posted 2002-08-14 04:47 AM

hey,
what's up? welcome to passions, tis a pretty cool place. anyways...now onto the poem itself. it really does have good flow, i can really go from each line to the next without awkward pauses. it rhymes too, which is also cool, i am always mildly envious of a poet who can rhyme better then myself (and yes yes i know not all poetry has to rhyme) i hope you talk to people about the problems you wrote about, it often helps, but so does venting in poetry. i hope to see more from you, and welcome once again.
-bergundy-

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

paper doll
Member

since 2002-08-04

Posts 133
Floating on Uncertainty

2 posted 2002-08-14 05:07 AM

Firstly, welcome to Passions.

You've started off your time here with a great first post. The meter was out in a few sections and I wasn't particularily receptive to the references to God but nonetheless, it was a strong piece.

Thanks for posting and I hope to see more of you floating around here in the future.

~M

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

3 posted 2002-08-14 05:25 AM

well i am robin! welcome to passions i hope you like it here. i love this place! i loved your poem it was really desriptive. please check your email for a special greeting.
robin

you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2002-08-14 06:58 AM

Welcome, Mike. All of the questions you ask are your first step toward realizing you are never really alone! Well done! Enjoy Passions, look around, make yourself at home!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

5 posted 2002-08-14 10:57 AM

Nice entrance mike

I think you've really gotten to the core of what alot of young people have to go through and I thank you for calling it to the attention of our community with your first post

welcome to passions

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

6 posted 2002-08-14 02:04 PM

Welcome to Passions, Mike! I'm sure you'll enjoy youre time here.
As for the poem, the flow and rhyme scheme were great. Something I envy as well, being as I can't rhyme at all. oO; As kevin said, you brought some of life's problems to view here, which may be something we all needed to see at this time. Knowing of them is the first step in getting help and feeling better with yourself. I hope things work out for you Mike.
tiff

ps. oo forgot to tell you that i -love- the title of this. great job!

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

--

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (08-14-2002 02:05 PM).]

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

7 posted 2002-08-14 02:41 PM

really loved this, as others have said you adressed some important issues, and I liked the way it was constructed, hope to see more from you,
anya

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