»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
Emotionless
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
Emotionless |
|
Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
|
I have no heart; or so have I been told that I am emotionless. Yet, how could that be? How could I be emotionless when everytime you leave my soul weeps my heart aches my arms long for you to return to them? I have no soul; or so have I been led to believe that I can burn holes into the vast depth of another's soul because I am emotionless because I am empty. Yet, how can I be empty? How can I possibly be empty when just one glimpse of you sends shivers up my spine sends floods of emotion washing over me, cleansing my tainted soul? How can I be emotionless when I'm with you? Ok, I honestly have no idea where this came from, personally, I think I'm crazy and this sucks, but I just wondered what you people thought.... I've never seen you on the streets of this town, I've never seen you just hanging around, But you still tell me that you know me... ~Justin Sane [This message has been edited by Allysa (08-13-2002 03:15 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
It's not my favourite poem, but I don't think it sucks. Don't be so hard on yourself.  I've often been called cold, heartless, inhuman, cruel, "venemous" (that was my personal favourite lol), and other things in relation to what I've already mentioned. I think that I am a boiling pot of emotion; however, it all stays very much inside me. That and.. well yes, my heart is guilty of crimes of cruelty. Perhaps you're the same way. I don't believe you're emotionless or empty. You couldn't write what you write if you were. I liked the questioning and honesty in this poem. Thank you for posting it. I'm married to Mr.Metaphor. We make love everyday. [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (08-13-2002 03:35 PM).] |
||
punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
great poem i really liked it hope to see more from you. tks for the read. robin you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all |
||
|
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey, hmm, well i don't think this poem sucks at all. you may need to add a few bits here and there to strengthen it, but i did enjoy it just as it is. i guess if you really care about the person, them calling you heartless can matter...but i have come to find people that others think are unpleasant are actually very emotional people, and just not afraid to express the negative along with the positive. i find that an admirable trait in a person, so don't feel bad! yay lol. -bergundy- maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio- |
||
|
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
"How can I possibly be empty when just one glimpse of you sends shivers up my spine sends floods of emotion washing over me, cleansing my tainted soul?" This is probably full of cliches, but this is my favourite stanza of the entire piece. I love the way you divide up one big, descriptive sentence, and then wrap it up with a... I dont' know what the word is, but it works |
||
|
paper doll Member
since 2002-08-04
Posts 133Floating on Uncertainty |
I prefer to be emotionless myself. From reading this piece I gather that you're not so ignore the comments made about you. ~M Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality. |
||
|
Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I'm glad that someone likes this. I don't know what else to say but thanks. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
