Teen Poetry #5 |
Soul Stealer |
Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
hands slip together soft touch upon my skin silent steps to my future time slowly halts burning fingers lite my face run down my cheeks hold me close lips touch lightly giving in parting ways they leave looking into my eyes lost in a pool of bluish hue spoken the words I dread not speak leave me standing faceless driving off a silent tear travels down my hurting face gone forever lost in time you can't see my tears hands slip together soft touch upon my skin silent steps to my future lost in a bluish hue with out a soul Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before-Edgar Allen Poe |
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© Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
hrm, i really -really- liked this, until i hit the bottom. all through it you had such beautiful wording and imagery. the flow was going great and you had such story going. then the last stanza just abruptly ended and you had the single line. which i did like the single line, and how it pulled in the title of it. but maybe there could be more to it? i dont know. its prolly just me. but i was loving it, still love it, but then boom the end. jmho keep writing and posting! tiff “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
I kinda liked the one line, made it seem like a very final finish. Descriptive images here. Nicely done. ~Beth You look inside my wild mind |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I liked this as well, it did seem as if the ending was abrupt and final, but such is an ending, right? Nice work, keep them coming. They do have the power to steal a lot more then your soul... Jenn Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
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