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Jenabou
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA

0 posted 2002-08-13 11:34 AM

Every one of my smiles tell a story
They all beam out your name
Leaving a sparkle in my eye while they conquer my face.
Collecting as a fountain of memories,
in the heart that we once shared

Every one of my tears tell a story
They all scream out your name
Leaving trails of pain on my cheaks behind them.
Collecting as a puddle of my misery,
in the bed that we once shared

Every one of my dreams tell a story
They all long for your name
Leaving wishfull thinking to fill my mind while they slowly fade away.
Collecting as a river of hope,
in the love that we once shared

...

*for someone who's used to heartache,losing it all was just a matter of time*
Be kind,for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

1 posted 2002-08-13 12:41 PM

This is rather good and the imagery that it created was great. Great job!

I've never seen you on the streets of this town, I've never seen you just hanging around, But you still tell me that you know me... ~Justin Sane

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

2 posted 2002-08-13 01:30 PM

i liked this especially the last two verses, liked the images you created in them
anya

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

3 posted 2002-08-13 03:41 PM

I liked the use of repetition in this poem. It brings everything together yet also shows the contrasts. I also have to agree with the others that the imagery was done well.

I'm married to Mr.Metaphor. We make love everyday.

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (08-13-2002 03:42 PM).]

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

4 posted 2002-08-13 06:39 PM

I'll ditto them--good imagery, good repetition. A well-expressed feeling...Just don't lose yourself. They're -your- smiles, -your- tears, -your- dreams...no one else's. Good luck in reclaiming them.

~Carly

"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions."
~David Borenstein

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

5 posted 2002-08-14 04:19 AM

great poem i really liked it hope to see more from you. tks for the read.
robin

you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all

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