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Teen Poetry #5
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anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK

0 posted 2002-08-07 05:00 AM


hey my boy, arn't the stars shining bright tonight
but you always did think they were shining for you
no, wait, you knew they were shining for you
just as the flowers open their faces to you
after all you do shine stronger than the sun don't you
and you can see that creation is just your playground
what is it you used to whisper to me
'look, my moons making faces at us'
the dark holds no terrors for you
after all the angels were put here on earth to follow you through
and for you the night never seems long
cause you know there will always be tommorow
how could tommorow fail to show when you are there to grace it's arrival
and the people who have infringed on your existence, we are but part of the show to you
but who can blame you when the bigger things were made for you
hey my boy
you are one of the elements
you are forever free
hey my boy
you are eternal,
you could never fool me

© Copyright 2002 Anne Hegarty - All Rights Reserved
skyshine
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Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
1 posted 2002-08-08 12:46 PM


This was an interesting read.

~Beth

You look inside my wild mind
never knowing what you'll find
still I want you all the time
yeah I do
'cause you get me
~Michelle Branch

paper doll
Member
since 2002-08-04
Posts 133
Floating on Uncertainty
2 posted 2002-08-09 11:59 PM


This reads very much like a song. I like the way it flows through but the word 'you' seems a little over used. Other than that, I enjoyed it. Not my all time favourite but nonetheless nice.

~M

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
3 posted 2002-08-12 03:10 PM


"how could tommorow fail to show when you are there to grace it's arrival
and the people who have infringed on your existence, we are but part of the show to you
but who can blame you when the bigger things were made for you"

This part and the ending were my favourite. I haven't read much of your poetry but in the little that I have read I have liked. This time is no different. I've got no complaints.



I'm married to Mr.Metaphor. We make love everyday.

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (08-12-2002 03:11 PM).]

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
4 posted 2002-08-14 04:33 AM


great poem i really liked it hope to see more from you. tks for the read.
robin

you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
5 posted 2002-08-14 04:54 AM


hey,
i think this is the second poem i've responded to from you, neither one of them dissapointed me when searching for something interesting on pip.  i really did like this piece, i don't know if you wrote it to seem kind of sarcastic, but that was my interpretation. probably because i know a lot of people that feel the same way the person does in your poem.  the only tiny suggestion i have is to maybe add question marks to the lines you ask questions in, i don't know why, but i think that lol.  maybe i am traditional? or perhaps just tired.  anywayz...good write.
-bergundy-  

maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio-

anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK
6 posted 2002-08-14 05:31 AM


I can see how you thougt i was being sarcastic but i wasn't. it was a poem about one of my brothers. Ever since he was a kid he has always seemed to have bigger things on his mind and doesn't let everyday things get to him ever, i don't know he just always seems on different wavelength to the rest of the world, thats what it was about
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