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The beginning of the storm
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The beginning of the storm |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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The troubled sky changed its complexion, Appearing somber, sad and bruised, While on the busy intersections, Piano keys endured our shoes And wailing notes were slowly oozing From sheets of clouds torn to shreds, But only street-lamps heard this music And humbly bowed their metal heads. Check out my poetry here: |
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| © Copyright 2002 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
beautiful master, just beautiful...I'd like to see something added to it, because its a wonderful start. However, sometimes the less said that better. Great write.. ~Lisa |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
this really is beautiful...I love a good storm, or a poem that points one out...  enjoyed... Lauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thanks for your comments! "While on the busy intersections, Piano keys endured our shoes"-- did you guys get this image? If not, i'll explain. Check out my poetry here: |
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Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
~Fantastic. Tight imagery and sound throughout. - And were you refering to the crosswalk with the keys? A guess. *Peace. |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Awesome bro, and yeah the crosswalk/piano keys comes across fine I loved the sad and bruised sky the best though |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
YAY... Glad you guys liked it! |
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