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Teen Poetry #5
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*~p.r.i.n.c.e.s.s.~*
Junior Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 38


0 posted 2002-08-01 06:36 PM



**you were never there**
i've carried this weight
all on my own
you were never there
i was always alone

despite your harsh words
i'm gonna make it through
i don't need any help
especially not from you

all those nights i cried to you
you never looked my way
and now you want to listen
while you're begging me to stay

now you want to be here
when you never were before
i've dealt with you for way too long
and i don't have the strength to anymore....

© Copyright 2002 *~p.r.i.n.c.e.s.s.~* - All Rights Reserved
Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
1 posted 2002-08-02 01:26 AM


One suggestion - perhaps you could describe how he wasn't there for you, or more on how it made you feel, just to add some gusto to the poem
But i honestly did think this was an excellent piece....good for you for realizing you deserve someone who will be there for you! Great work here
K

The day you were born, you were born free
That is your privilege.

anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK
2 posted 2002-08-02 04:49 AM


loved this, while reading this poem it was like you had taken the thoughts right out of my head and written them down, i can relate so well, anyway good job
anya

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