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Teen Poetry #5
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sandcastles
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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sandcastles |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
watching you reminds me strongly of watching a sandcastle being pulled away by the tide, it crumbles in the wake of an unmovable force and it gets lost leaving not the slightest trace I wish there there was something I could do to stop life washing you away, but your far to soft to withstand the harsh realities of this world that begin to envelop you |
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| © Copyright 2002 Anne Hegarty - All Rights Reserved | |||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Awww I wanna give you suggesstions  Oh well. Very good metaphor. I enjoyed it.~Carly "Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
I really liked the metaphor used in this poem. It was really good. Keep it up!  "Little holes in parachutes won't leave you falling, if they do, it's because you want to land."-Something Corporate |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD POETRY |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
good job. liked it a lot Better check that I'm about to upset and I'm glad now so you better step back I'm taking over so watch me shine-Joanna Pacitti/Watch Me Shine |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
thankyou very much for your kind comments, I am glad that you liked it anya |
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