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PnkBoxergrl
New Member

since 2002-07-24

Posts 3

0 posted 2002-07-29 05:56 PM

Astonished by my answer,
the next night I went out with you.
We saw a flick,
and had a bite to eat.

You would ask me questions,
and I would walk right by them.
You took offense,
of my natural defense.

I explained my mode,
and thankfully you understood.
Then I let myself out,
and you loved every bit of it.

That night you taught me,
one of life's great lessons;
You are the only one to make yourself feel inferior,
noone else can do that, just help you along the way.

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

1 posted 2002-07-30 03:47 PM

Hi PBG,

This one caught me from the first line

It really translates his initial feeligs for you well and leads into the poem nicely

If I could change one thing about this poem I would try to show what you learned by the end of the poem in your actions rather than come right out and say it, as you did in the begining to express your insecurity

Its fine how it is now but that would be much more effective imho

keep em coming
enjoyed
kev

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

2 posted 2002-07-30 06:32 PM

it's true, no one can make you feel inferior unless you make em
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

3 posted 2002-07-31 08:44 AM

the message of this poem is so true, i eally enjoyed this poem, thankyou
anya

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

4 posted 2002-08-01 09:22 PM

PnkBoxergrl-
There is much truth in this little write.
You've expressed it well.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

5 posted 2002-08-02 12:53 PM

Um...well...not to sound like a broken record here, but i also would have to comment on how true this piece is...i love the message to it. We all could use that kind of epiphany in our lives. Great work - thanks for posting this!
K

The day you were born, you were born free
That is your privilege.

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