"Vase of flowers, in watercolor"

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anawnda
Member

since 2002-07-26

Posts 113

0 posted 2002-07-29 02:31 AM

           "Vase of flowers, in watercolor"

          I am the vase of flowers
          on the canvas you leave unfinished.
          you do not dare complete this scene-
          paint a table with me
          as the centerpiece, a lamp
          for light, glasses for sight,
          a mirror to reflect
          what you see in me.
          No, I exist alone
          in your memory.

          I am the vase of flowers you leave,
          the canvas you leave unfinished.
          your brush could stain my leaves
          with color,
          define the curves of these petals,
          shape this vase you have placed me in.

          Until now, I do not know
          what kind of flower I am to you-
          just one without thorns.
          I am the vase of flowers,
          the vase of flowers you leave unfinished.

          If I asked, would you tell me
          why you cannot picture a room for me
          to live and breathe in?
          or make me bloom as vividly
          as real flowers in your real garden?
          I am the vase you leave,
          the flowers you leave,
          the canvas unfinished.

          you have painted me in watercolor,
          in the blurs and strokes of dreams,
          then left me lonely on this canvas.
          Are you waiting for me to wilt?
          Do you still want me to break?
          Will you water or wash me off with tears?

                    ***********

for christian vasquez

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-07-29 02:35 AM

Ah, I like this... very much... it's long, but keeps attention throughout. What's more, the "I am" scheme makes it seem mysterious and compelling. You'll have his attention locked firmly in place.

This poem is almost riddlish in tone. I love that kind of poem.

You wrote this superbly... he'll be impressed, but what's more, he'll be intrigued. I'm almost positive of that.

If you do send him this, don't add the title. Leave the title out. That will make it seem less prepared, and more addressive. Very nice...

I hope all goes well.

anawnda
Member

since 2002-07-26

Posts 113

2 posted 2002-07-29 02:44 AM

you know, i dont know how to send it. he's not into emailing, he's always busy doing runaways. he's a model/actor and he runs a really tight schedule. but he's not your typical model/actor guy. he's nice and also writes poetry and kinda secretive. i dont know maybe im just disillusioning myself thinking he'll ever want me also.i want to send it anonymously thru snail mail but i dnt have his address. God Im so stupid!!!!!

anawnda
Member

since 2002-07-26

Posts 113

3 posted 2002-07-29 03:34 AM

need more comments pls.

anawnda
Member

since 2002-07-26

Posts 113

4 posted 2002-08-02 09:51 AM

ey comments pls

* you can hurt me...with your bare hands,or
you can hurt me with the sharp edge of what you said.....* jewel kilcher

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

5 posted 2002-08-02 12:52 PM

I understand this poem, miraculously. I know it's a bit symbolic and a tad vague, but I relate to the "left unfinished" part. I am in the midst of the same thing.

The only thing I'd comment on is the poem seemed unfinished. Perhaps still developing?
The ending just seemed abrupt.

Anyway, great job on this.

Jenny :-)

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

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