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Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2002-07-29 03:29 AM

Know the worth and the power of words.
Be worthy of the words that you speak.
Words are reserved for the strong --
wordswordswordswordswordswordsword --
SWORDS are reserved for the weak.

Check out my poetry here:

http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master

[This message has been edited by Master (07-29-2002 03:31 AM).]

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

1 posted 2002-07-29 03:32 AM

I liked this a lot. Short, but had a good message. So true... It takes so much more strenght to be able to defend yourself with words. Well... intellegent words, anyway.

Great write.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

2 posted 2002-07-29 08:47 AM

well you said alot in a few words there, really good message put in a clever way
anya

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-07-29 06:36 PM

I have to admit the whole wordswordswordswordswords - SWORDS thing made me crinkle my nose. It would have been a nice four-liner otherwise.

I agree with the sentiment, of course. I just think you could have done something better than this. It just looked sloppy, know what I mean?

Hope you don't mind me saying so.

Parasite

clve527
Member

since 2002-07-08

Posts 200

4 posted 2002-07-29 09:55 PM

Okay, I agree this does look sloopy and a little cutesy for my taste. You can do better, I've seen you do better. Don't take the easy road. Hope you do a rewrite.

Casey

If all you want is emotion, go down to walmart, buy yourself a diary and hide it in a drawer where no one can see...

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

5 posted 2002-07-30 03:39 PM

Hey bro,

I think you were on the right track with the idea behind this poem but you definitely missed what you were going for by your standards

that second to last line tripped me up too and I know what your trying to do with it but i think its more counter productive than what you want it to do for the poem

I'd really like to see you take another stab at this one though

No pun intended... on the stab thing
lata kid

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