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Losing The Moon
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Losing The Moon |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
I've lost the moon tonight, I think the clouds might've killed it, The stars have been murdered as well, This window is foggy, From the summer night's humidity, And I can't see a thing, I can hear the chirping of far off crickets, And the faintest memory of your whispered goodbye, I can smell the damp air, Brought in from the open window in the hall, Bringing to mind the scent of you hair, And the faintest memory of our final embrace, Staring through this fogged up window, I seem to have lost the moon again. *~erin~* "Longing for home again but home is a feeling I buried in you."-Greenwheel |
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| © Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I didn't like the title until I read the poem, and then I did like the title. I'm trying to read into exactly what you mean by "losing the moon." Is it, loss of something mundane, of something that you'd expect to see daily, but then so suddenly is gone? Something that you're shocked and lost to be without? I'm not really sure, you left it kind of open. (That's not a bad thing, I like poetry that makes you think  )Your reuse of some words or phrases, with slight revisions, gave this a good flow and a good sense of unity. A lot of free-versish poetry lacks unity. You had no problem with that here. Nice work. Parasite |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
I'm really glad you enjoyed my poem. And when I was writing this poem I was thinking of the moon as something you can always count on to be there and to give you some light and then looking out the window and not being able to see it anymore. But really the reader can interpret it anyway they want to. Thanks for reading and for asking good questions  .Hey, I just realized I'm a regular member now! Wooo! No more junior member!! Ok I'm done now. *~erin~* "Little holes in parachutes won't leave you falling, if they do, it's because you want to land."-Something Corporate |
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