I'm a product of my insecurities

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Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

0 posted 2002-07-27 01:09 AM

I’m a product of my insecurities
Let me tell you why you’re not as good as me
Its the good in me
I couldn’t be caught up in all that passed judgment
That makes up your trite personality
Commonality?
No
I wont ever let it take hold of me
I’ve been told to become
Overcome
Were I’m from
And I will if it takes every piece of me
Well possibly
I’m the boss of me
Can’t you see that this world’s been laid out for me
No I don’t need your help
I can do it my self
My future says that I’ll live happily
Well possibly
I’m unique
My physique
Is envied by the weak
When I walk by
Every girl has to sneak a peak
But I might be mistaken
Cause chances I’ve taken
Have left me aground with my confidence shaken
No I can’t
Be like you
Cause the things that you do
Are so arrogant that
There’s no way you see through
To the me that’s in you
When you treat me with vocal brutality
But what’s lost to me
Is the cost that you
Pay
Every last waking day
While you're blind to your
Selfish hypocrisy

[This message has been edited by Kevin (07-27-2002 01:30 AM).]

*~p.r.i.n.c.e.s.s.~*
Junior Member

since 2002-07-25

Posts 38

1 posted 2002-07-27 04:38 PM

wow, that was so good!! wow.... lol, i'm at a loss for words right now, but i really liked that. i like how you have such a...hmmm what's the word i'm looking for.... opinion i think. it's like, you know what you know and that's that. i dunno what it is that i liked so much about this, but you write really well and imma check out your other poems too.

keep up the good work.
~*britt*~

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-07-27 08:53 PM

Am I wrong to assume that this was meant to be a rap? It read through like a rap song, to me. I suppose it could have been poetry as well, of course, but for some reason the voice in my head sounded like a rapper.

I'm not really a fan of this genre of music, or writing, for that matter. Too much reuse of rhyme for my taste. But I do like the substance that you've brought to the formatting you provided. Bravo.

Parasite

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

3 posted 2002-07-29 02:32 AM

hey kid,

I like the style a lot, and i really liked how it flowed, but the content wasn't as good as i'm used to seeing from you. I love the killer lines/endings in your poems. It seemed like the current of the style in this one took you with it, while you never really had much to express. You know what i mean? I hope i'm not too harsh. You're still by far my favorite at PiP (although your sister is gaining on you, lol). Keep writing,

Peace

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

4 posted 2002-07-29 03:30 AM

Wow... This flowed really well. Hm... I don't really have anything else to say, but something about this made me like it. Good message in it. Anyway, thanks for posting!

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

5 posted 2002-07-29 08:31 PM

Thanks guys, I dont think your reading enough into it master

This poem is centered on irony
how our own insecurities lead us to act like people we perceive are arrogant... or maybe you did pick up on it,
either way lisa is gaining lol
lata kid

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

6 posted 2002-07-31 12:34 PM

Hey guys I have a long way to go!

Kev-I got the message of the poem and I thought it was wonderfully expressed

~Lisa

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