Spider Webs - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #5

Spider Webs

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

0 posted 2002-07-26 12:44 PM

Cobweb covered promises reside in my heart and mind,
All made by you,
Float to the surface every once in awhile,
Never to be fulfilled.
Dreams, also,
Never meant to come true,
Gather layers of dust in the darkness of my mind.
It doesn't seem to matter to you
That my dreams
And your promises
Have been left to rot...
Only occasionally a tear falls now
But only because I've gotten used to it.
For now I guess I'll just remain trapped
In the spider webs of your lies.

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

1 posted 2002-07-27 12:14 PM

'only occasionally a tear falls now but only because I have gotten used to it'
I especially like and relate to the above lines but I thought the whole poem was well written
anya

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-07-27 08:07 PM

Now this is definitely something else.  I heard the entire poem read in my mind in a shrill, cowering voice... such magnificent use of tone.
I especially like the first line, as it is something of a synopsis of the poem's content.  And then, the poem itself appears.  Very nice.
You did a good job of taking a situation and darkening it for the reader, to transmit the emotions fully.  I'll have to remember to look for your name again.

Parasite

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.