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Teen Poetry #5
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i was always close to you
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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i was always close to you |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
{this is for you} good bye my firend i must say to you good bye my firend i hope you stay true it was the last time what hapened you that you know it was the last time you do, don't want it, you don't show the time that was wasted between you and me the time that was wasted was something you chose not to see i must go because of what you want me to do but remember i was always close to you
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| © Copyright 2002 Matt - All Rights Reserved | |||
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Good poem. Rhymes...nice Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.) |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
good bye my firend {Spelling.} i must say to you good bye my firend {Spelling.} i hope you stay true {This is not poetic in the least. Show the reader something. Give us an image to hold. At least give us some new view.} it was the last time what hapened you that you know {Spelling. Also, what is this supposed to mean??} it was the last time you do, don't want it, you don't show {Huh?} the time that was wasted between you and me the time that was wasted was something you chose not to see {This is forced and quite trite.} i must go because of what you want me to do but remember i was always close to you This poem has nothing new to say. It isn't poetic and it's a boring read. Casey If all you want is emotion, go down to walmart, buy yourself a diary and hide it in a drawer where no one can see... |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
hellO! i liked this poem! dont say it wasnt poetic in the least! good write, i liked this!  ~In the end..it doesn't even matter...~LP |
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