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chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-06-25 09:49 PM


A scarlet rose is dimmed to rust
And tears turn cold in time
Dreams have gone, they've turned to dust
A faint world undefined.

Stagnant trees, no wind does blow
Among the darkened sky
Angels fall from paradise
This vision we defy.

This azure world has blurred to gray
And hope is but a dream
And dust wafts through the empty air
And into crystal streams.

Floating souls have turned to bones
Silence stills the lied
Of ravens in the sable sky
Glaring down in greed.

And somewhere in the frosted night
The cold begins to sting
The chilling scene forever lasts
Never was there spring.

This faint world, so cold and gray
Never thought it'd see
The warming sun, and heaven's light
Forever faint it'll be.

Reaching out, with vision fazed
This world is but a dream
Of dust and swirls that float above
While down below we scream.

==========
At last...c'est finit! I promise I'll never do that three step posting stage again...hehe  

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
1 posted 2001-06-25 10:02 PM


awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
2 posted 2001-06-25 10:04 PM


OMG! I totally loved this. this is most definatly going in to my library. this was amazing. this was just so great, i can't even put in words how great it is. well i guess you get the idea so i'll shut up now.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2001-06-26 12:38 PM


Leah-
  Ok...i said it before after reading
  the unfinished version, and I'll
  say it again...This is an AMAZING write!
  truly AWESOME!!  i LOVE it!  
  can't wait till the next one  

  smiles,
  ~vicky



"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



[This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 06-26-2001).]

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
4 posted 2001-06-26 12:46 PM


YAAAAY!! lol i thought u'd NEVER finish it
;-)
great work, i really enjoyed this. tis going in my library!
-fear-

emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
5 posted 2001-06-26 01:05 AM


I must say Leah... I'm totally impressed! WOW!  Amazing work here! You get a lolli-pop!  

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-06-26 02:35 AM


Ahh, there we have it, my friend.  EXCELLENT final copy.  This one's a piece for the library.  The format you used, and the tone of the poem is very professional.  The words are beautiful and the language used is excellent.  Wonderful work, Leah!

*click* Into the library it goes.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
7 posted 2001-06-26 02:53 AM



                                                                                This faint world, so cold and gray
                                                                                    Never thought it'd see
                                                                               The warming sun, and heaven's light
                                                                                     Forever faint it'll be.

LEAAAAAAAAHHHHH! this is awesome!!!!!!!...this is so going into my library thing darling!!...wowoow....ok im jealous of your poetry....there i said it...hehehe very wel done deary...very well done!! agpfagp!!!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

scout
Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175
no place owns me
8 posted 2001-06-26 01:32 PM


Nice Poem.  I really liked it. especially the description.

xscoutx
"Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears." - Ez. 24:1

[This message has been edited by scout (edited 06-26-2001).]

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
9 posted 2001-06-26 03:26 PM


loved the finished product!!! Rockin  
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-06-26 06:41 PM


*standing ovation*

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
11 posted 2001-06-26 06:47 PM


I think Acire likes it, ya think?  
Thank you all for your comments...Much appreciated.

TLMF,
Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

FoxXena
Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141
where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted
12 posted 2001-06-26 08:25 PM


Well done!!  

~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~
~*~I say it is the written word.~*~

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
13 posted 2001-06-26 09:30 PM


Hooray!   You're done! I love the finished product!!!
Defenately worth the wait!!!
Into my library!!!
Rhonda  

"Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here*

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
14 posted 2001-06-26 10:24 PM


WOW!!!!  i especially love your use of color in this poem.  "azure" and "grey" make great blended images.  Excellent work.  COngratulations!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
15 posted 2001-06-26 10:37 PM


*blush* eh hem...there it is...

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
16 posted 2001-06-27 01:16 AM


I liked this one a lot, but where's the line about the angels?   I liked that line a lot.....

Anyhow you did VERY well on this one, very well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

angel_2401
Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH
17 posted 2001-06-27 03:30 PM


I LOVE THIS!!!!!! This is soooo good. And I think Acire does like it. Lol.

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

18 posted 2001-06-27 05:54 PM


Theres definitely a place in the library for this one!!     
(He's not clapping for the poem, hes clapping cuz theres room in the library)

Just kidding!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
19 posted 2001-06-27 10:38 PM


Whoooooooo partay!!! It's done it's done!!   And incredibly so. Loved it loved it loved it....
  ~Carly

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..."
   ~Edouard Manet

DarkSilver
Junior Member
since 2001-05-21
Posts 33
Six O'clock High!
20 posted 2001-06-27 11:35 PM


holy cow, YOU did this? I refuse to beleive it ya lother!

I Said I'm sorry but no one heard, Cause ACTIONS, Actions, actions speak louder than words! - Hello McFly - Relient K

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

21 posted 2001-06-28 12:59 PM


wow!...what an awesome finish...i loved this one...wonderful poem...full of beautiful imagery and symybolism ...bye Deejay

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
22 posted 2001-06-28 02:20 PM


Yes Geo, believe it.
Thanks all for your replies (again)!
This will probably be the last poem I post for the rest of the month, because I'm goin' on holidays...muahahaha...so you won't hear from me for about 3 weeks or so.
Lucky you.  
So have a great summer everyone!  

TLMF,
Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
23 posted 2001-06-28 06:48 PM


sorry, just neede to add this to my library  

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
24 posted 2001-06-29 07:22 AM


Deejay, buddy, this is fantastic!!! Definitely the best one I have read from you yet!!! Oh man! So many words, not enough time! lol

Seriously, your rhyme and imagery was amazing. You are now my inspiration.  

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
25 posted 2002-06-23 02:38 PM


GREAT POEM
WONDERFUL PICTURES!!

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
26 posted 2002-06-23 02:38 PM


GREAT POEM
WONDERFUL PICTURES!!

cutiepiesugarbabie
Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110
A Cloud In the Sky
27 posted 2002-06-23 02:38 PM


GREAT POEM
WONDERFUL PICTURES!!

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
28 posted 2002-06-25 08:38 PM


You amaze me yet again Leah. This was breathtaking. You have so much talent. Simply amazing. This is in the library.

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
29 posted 2002-06-26 04:26 PM


I remember this poem, you've always been an excellent writer

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
30 posted 2002-06-26 10:24 PM


You people...always bringing up old threads. DOWN I SAY! DOWN! *squishes old post* ^_^;;;
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