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Teen Poetry #5
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Faint World: Finished
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Faint World: Finished |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
A scarlet rose is dimmed to rust And tears turn cold in time Dreams have gone, they've turned to dust A faint world undefined. Stagnant trees, no wind does blow Among the darkened sky Angels fall from paradise This vision we defy. This azure world has blurred to gray And hope is but a dream And dust wafts through the empty air And into crystal streams. Floating souls have turned to bones Silence stills the lied Of ravens in the sable sky Glaring down in greed. And somewhere in the frosted night The cold begins to sting The chilling scene forever lasts Never was there spring. This faint world, so cold and gray Never thought it'd see The warming sun, and heaven's light Forever faint it'll be. Reaching out, with vision fazed This world is but a dream Of dust and swirls that float above While down below we scream. ========== At last...c'est finit! I promise I'll never do that three step posting stage again...hehe  -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I LOVE IT!!!!!!!  I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
OMG! I totally loved this. this is most definatly going in to my library. this was amazing. this was just so great, i can't even put in words how great it is. well i guess you get the idea so i'll shut up now. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Leah- Ok...i said it before after reading the unfinished version, and I'll say it again...This is an AMAZING write! truly AWESOME!! i LOVE it! can't wait till the next one  smiles, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 06-26-2001).] |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
YAAAAY!! lol i thought u'd NEVER finish it ;-) great work, i really enjoyed this. tis going in my library! -fear- emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I must say Leah... I'm totally impressed! WOW! Amazing work here! You get a lolli-pop! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Ahh, there we have it, my friend. EXCELLENT final copy. This one's a piece for the library. The format you used, and the tone of the poem is very professional. The words are beautiful and the language used is excellent. Wonderful work, Leah! *click* Into the library it goes. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
This faint world, so cold and gray Never thought it'd see The warming sun, and heaven's light Forever faint it'll be. LEAAAAAAAAHHHHH! this is awesome!!!!!!!...this is so going into my library thing darling!!...wowoow....ok im jealous of your poetry....there i said it...hehehe very wel done deary...very well done!! agpfagp!!!"Life is not long and boring, |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
Nice Poem. I really liked it. especially the description. xscoutx "Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears." - Ez. 24:1 [This message has been edited by scout (edited 06-26-2001).] |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
loved the finished product!!! Rockin |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
*standing ovation* hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I think Acire likes it, ya think? Thank you all for your comments...Much appreciated. TLMF, Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
Well done!! ~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~ |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hooray!  You're done! I love the finished product!!!Defenately worth the wait!!! Into my library!!! Rhonda  "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
WOW!!!! i especially love your use of color in this poem. "azure" and "grey" make great blended images. Excellent work. COngratulations! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
*blush* eh hem...there it is... "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this one a lot, but where's the line about the angels?  I liked that line a lot.....Anyhow you did VERY well on this one, very well.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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angel_2401 Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131Cincinnati, OH |
I LOVE THIS!!!!!! This is soooo good. And I think Acire does like it. Lol. I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Theres definitely a place in the library for this one!! (He's not clapping for the poem, hes clapping cuz theres room in the library) Just kidding! *Amanda* |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Whoooooooo partay!!! It's done it's done!!  And incredibly so. Loved it loved it loved it....~Carly "Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..." |
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DarkSilver Junior Member
since 2001-05-21
Posts 33Six O'clock High! |
holy cow, YOU did this? I refuse to beleive it ya lother! I Said I'm sorry but no one heard, Cause ACTIONS, Actions, actions speak louder than words! - Hello McFly - Relient K |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow!...what an awesome finish...i loved this one...wonderful poem...full of beautiful imagery and symybolism ...bye Deejay  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Yes Geo, believe it. Thanks all for your replies (again)! This will probably be the last poem I post for the rest of the month, because I'm goin' on holidays...muahahaha...so you won't hear from me for about 3 weeks or so. Lucky you. So have a great summer everyone! TLMF, Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
sorry, just neede to add this to my library hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Deejay, buddy, this is fantastic!!! Definitely the best one I have read from you yet!!! Oh man! So many words, not enough time! lol Seriously, your rhyme and imagery was amazing. You are now my inspiration.  ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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cutiepiesugarbabie Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110A Cloud In the Sky |
GREAT POEM WONDERFUL PICTURES!! |
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cutiepiesugarbabie Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110A Cloud In the Sky |
GREAT POEM WONDERFUL PICTURES!! |
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cutiepiesugarbabie Member
since 2002-06-07
Posts 110A Cloud In the Sky |
GREAT POEM WONDERFUL PICTURES!! |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
You amaze me yet again Leah. This was breathtaking. You have so much talent. Simply amazing. This is in the library. “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I remember this poem, you've always been an excellent writer là où est mon amour? |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
You people...always bringing up old threads. DOWN I SAY! DOWN! *squishes old post* ^_^;;; |
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