Teen Poetry #5 |
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my dark spot |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
always, i have opened myself but only to be heart every time hiding, shuting in the dark and finding a wourld that's mine stading in the center of the darkness letting the distant sounds fade away i had made my mind up then this is where i had to stay i shut everyone out and away from them all focasing all anger into a tiny ball shutting off all emotions killing everything, apearing dead hs is phyco, carzy, depressed he needs help thats the only thing they said they tride to reach out theripy, i was the one they blamed hospittles and the drugs they told me i must be taimed by opening myself one more time i found a place for me that is grand i found people that helped i finally found a place i could stand i was happy for a while something i hven't been years everyone was so nice a place where i never had to shed tears but just as i thought in the past my woud is the only place i could be once agian i must shut myself away cus now i know i'm the only one that can stand me [This message has been edited by Deep_Inside (06-27-2002 04:59 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Matt - All Rights Reserved | |||
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
A very melancholy piece from you. People have to learn to be more understanding...more open, it seems. Man's eternal sickness. However, the rhyming and most of the flow was well done! Small critique: The spelling. ^^ Some of the spelling obstructed the flow, sometimes I couldn't figure out what the word was at first, so I would have to stop and try to figure it out. It's not too hard to fix though. Spelling can be quite evil. ^^; It's true that sometimes, we are the only ones who understand ourselves, but even we are not alone. Leah |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
A very powerful piece indeed. I enjoyed it very much, keep up the good work. Tomer |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
"cus now i know i'm the only one that can stand me" I think that perhaps you've opened yourself up to the wrong people, cared about the opinion of the wrong people, and just over all wasted your time on the wrong people. Sometimes I still feel the way I used to feel (that no one can stand me and I should just go live in my darkness), but just because everyone else is weak doesn't mean you should be too. Alright, enough of my preaching. Carry on. P.S. - I liked your poem. [Jaime] |
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