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Teen Poetry #5
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Musings of a Mermaid" (a very rusty poem)
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Musings of a Mermaid" (a very rusty poem) |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
A crimson tempest rose between the heavens and the sky Doting on the lovely maid that, wistful, Only sighed. Her silhouette against the hills, As rain began to fall, Shuddered slightly from the wind that breathed, Exhaled, and enthralled. Each droplet fell in bittersweet Upon her saffron hair, And treading home, unknown to her Was death who waited there. A mist began to form around her ankles and her feet And soon the path deceived her eyes, Her mind set in defeat. It lead her to the water's edge An ocean's azure blue As she wept, her tears a stain upon The ocean's perfect hue. And soon, her frame was lost within The waves that swept the land And she became the mermaid that Possessed the heart of man. 06.07.02 I have returned. ^_^ Isn't that absobablootly wonderful? Not to mention the rust that has started to form on my muse. BUT! No matter. I have to get back into the habit of writing...Took me a darn hour to write this. *grump* Anyways, enjoy! ^^ L.i. (Leah) |
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| © Copyright 2002 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Hmm.. rusty? I don't think so. I actually really liked it. I just thought that it was interesting and worded beautifully.. or something dramatic like that.  Thanks for sharing.[Jaime] |
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MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
"as she wept, her tears a stain upon the ocean's perfect hue" great words. welcome back. "The soul is oftentimes a battlefield where reason and judgement wage war on passion and appetite." |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Look!!! It's really Leah!! Really nice to see you here...I've missed your work.. Now this one has some really nice words that are favorites of mine, so that makes me like it even more  Rusty? Bah! Narratives are sweet, especially when done well, as this one is. Glad to see you're back..~Carly "Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." |
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Shmurfkins New Member
since 2002-01-29
Posts 5the state of confusion |
AHHH, I WUB JOO!!!! hehe, haven't seen much of you, missed you loved the poem too, girlie, you rock. I'm always so jealous of your writing abilities, you come out with these awesome pieces, and well...I haven't written in a long long time. My muse died. ~Stace WHOOOOOOOOOOO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! [This message has been edited by Shmurfkins (06-10-2002 10:56 PM).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow this was simply awesome. Nothing more to say. This truly was an amazing poem. I can tell you put a lot of thought and work into this one. It was great, really. You impress me with this one.  This message has been brought to you by the letter 'Y' |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
first off, loved the title.. secondly, worshiped the entire thing. *whimper* leah im so jealous of you *Sniff* im like carly up yonder, you used some of my fav words which made this beautiful story even more..stunning. i always love things to do wtih mermaids, plus you weaved a beautiful tale around it all. lovely imagery(repeats self) AND it just flowed so well. love the use of html for impact and such. just another great piece from you chica. as always. *loves* btw.. is that THE stace up there? *peers* stace? “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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songsoftheaftermath Member
since 2002-06-19
Posts 84a world of disarray |
im glad youre back from whereever you went loved the way you finished this. you're awesome. could the darkness be my friend? |
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