I live life through a glass

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Teen Poetry #5

I live life through a glass

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

0 posted 2002-06-03 02:30 AM

I live life through a glass,
To you it makes no sense,
But the truth is quite clear,
As I struggle with life’s troubles,
Nothing matters at times and all the while,
I hope for a new day,
I wait for the sun to rise in the sky,
Take on a new chance at life once more,
Not everyday is the same,
As this is a game, plan changes,
But in the end, I lose my wealth,
Knowledge I gather as my goals grow farther,
Dreams are left for nights like this,
When I write the joy, the pain
And what I did not gain today,
You understand now,
I live life through a glass.

Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.)

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

1 posted 2002-06-05 09:55 AM

This is a really good read
I'm very impressed with your thinking
I hope to see more of your work in the future
thanks for sharing
keep em coming

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2002-06-10 08:54 PM

I thought you wrote this fine. I liked the conclusion. It was a good poem, but I also felt that the verses leading up to the concluding line could have been a bit more powerful. You end it so well, it's like it hits you....but it comes out of nowhere and the resolution to the conclusion doesn't fit in too well...the power seems off balance.
Well that's my opinion. I liked the poem though...hope to see more.

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