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blakloks
Member

since 2002-06-01

Posts 60

0 posted 2002-06-01 11:37 PM

this poem is about this person whom i once thought was a friend, but one day she seemed to hate me, just for no reason at all.i will never forget the look she gave me . looks can tell

glint
thou glints
spark of lightning
i am cut open
up and away
why me
once you knew me
i still
know you
shrug
moment passed
snakes wind in
different directions
dusty bound
deep in me
i still remember that flash

okay, i know this is sucky, but its my first try allright?

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

1 posted 2002-06-02 12:03 PM

Welcome to Passions!!!

First of all i think you did a really good job on your first post. a persons eyes can tell so many things. You did a great job and im looking forward to reading more from you.

p.s.-please check ur e-mail for a special greeting!

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

aVriL lAvIgNe

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2002-06-02 11:04 AM

Sucky? Not at all. I like the fact that you believe [as do so many writers here] that in getting it out, you also leave a message...

there was a lot of metaphor in this. I think I'm going to like seeing you grow....

Welcome to Passions!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.

blakloks
Member

since 2002-06-01

Posts 60

3 posted 2002-06-03 12:20 PM

ohh, thanx so much! this is my first time showing pple my poems so i was kinda scared.
thanx so much

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2002-06-06 12:40 PM

NO! NO! NO! ALL WRONG!
Sucky? Hardly so! Very well done....I liked the style. Very new, very POW! In your face kind of writing. I enjoyed this very much friend!
MORE!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

blakloks
Member

since 2002-06-01

Posts 60

5 posted 2002-06-06 10:37 AM

thanx pple...u haf no idea what these mean to me...they make me feel so good...thanx so much

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