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Teen Poetry #5

An Interval's Time

fulanodetal3684
Junior Member

since 2001-10-10

Posts 19

0 posted 2002-06-04 11:55 PM

I died promptly, (now) was told
yet over the span of a month
(now) lingered along the thought
that maybe my idea was to be among
the intentions of a lesser god

(Now) meddles, (it) is to suppose
from afar the interrogatory is being interposed
by the ever-so-intermittent prose
which persists to be of no form/flow
thus instancing the history of all

But if (now) was only to behold
that what (it) seems to write of
is in itself a product of myself,
and myself being a product of a thought
pretending to be an idea on its own, then...

And what is it to be said
about the introspective self, claimed by none,
inciting the spirits to make themselves of them
and to hold them, furthermore,
to realize their potential out of the cold

To believe is to belong, I know
yet over the span of a moment
I passed along the idea
that maybe (now's) thought was to be among
the intentions of almighty God

Winston Froom
Junior Member

since 2001-11-28

Posts 32

1 posted 2002-06-05 12:45 PM

Absolutely remarkable! Brilliant! I enjoyed this piece thoroughly. Comparable to Plato in philosophical statements/propositions. Definitley an example to follow.. Job well done!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2002-06-06 12:54 PM

I liked this one a lot, very profound. But in it being so good I could also be a bit harder on you (since you seem to have a lot of talent) than most

I thought the ending was a bit weak. That's all I could see. The whole poem has so much passion and the ending kind of resolutes without keeping true to the intensity of the poem. Well done though, VERY well done. If Winston liked it, then you must KNOW it is a masterpiece.

post more pq me gusto. Quedo cabron.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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