Teen Poetry #5 |
![]() ![]() |
Sunmoonstars do not show flowers by the path |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
Streen Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169![]() |
O fragrant lady above the moonstars, know this: others find man's darkbright orbed fate, from how the planets breathe the light. And when bright children eyes tossle feet across moonlit fields drinking birth by birth of lune-ray lune-night, others see not what I see in you. They see mere light, sunmoonstar light that heart the way in can't show. Children eyes bright see light and path by path can trample (by the moon above the stars) your birthling flowers just rising. O moonlighting dove, I could close my eyes and would not lack you. The sunmoonstars do not show your flowers by the path. Maybe only your eyes do. My hands clasp above the moonlit wheat, and wildly, O forever flower, I stray path by path to drink your love (moon by lunar not mattering) my heart. |
||
© Copyright 2002 Derek Benz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Marry me? Err...this was a much welcomed break from the unpoetic love poems I'm seeing too much of... I like your lack of 'normal' statements.. Very creatively done and enjoyed muchly. ~Carly "Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." |
||
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Wonderful, wonderful write! *applause* I thoroughly enjoyed this. Hoohoo! ^o^ The abstract nature of this poem is unique, but very, very appropriate. I loved the phrasing. ^_^ "from how the planets breathe the light." Beautiful imagery there, and throughout the entire poem! This is a treat to read! ^__^ Thank you! -Leah |
||
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
I loved this. It was so creative and and well written. You wrote this excellently and had such vivid and imaginitive imagery and vocabulary. This is going into my library and I will look for more of your works from now on. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Keep them coming Streen. .:tiff:. “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |