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Teen Poetry #5
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Stranger in the miror
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Stranger in the miror |
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lilibeelee Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143 |
Who is this person that is staring at me? Ugliness and worthless is all I see My reflection isn't anything not anything at all My life feels like nothing one continuous fall I struggle and try to be the liked one But in the end does it matter when it's all said and done People see my makeup that's all they see People see my makeup and not the real me I am not beautiful it is just a mask Sometimes I feel like life is an ongoing routine and a task I don't understand why I am here today I don't see a reason for me to stay I struggle and try All I can do is look in the mirror and cry Why can't I be like her, so confident so sure Why can't I just be like her? But I can't in this body I stay Don't feel sorry for me and say it'll all be okay It wont be okay and it's not going to be all right I feel like I can not sleep at night The world and people can be so mean I wish I could go unheard of unthought of and unseen Make me disappear and go away I would do anything to not be here today Why am I so concerned about anyone and what they perceive me to be? I don't understand it, why can't they just see me I want to disappear I can't be here any longer I wish I was brave I wish I was stronger I'm about to break Everything me myself I can't take |
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| © Copyright 2001 Lisa - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
first of all WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!...what a poem...sad but protrayed so much...this poem had so much behind it...i really liekd this poem...very emotional first post and a great one it was!...hope tos ee you read share and reply more  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Welcome! Please check your email for a special greeting! ~SEA |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Welocme to Passions!! I'm going to tell you it'll be okay even though you said not to. I don't know if you're still going through the emotions you were when you wrote this, but believe me, I've been there, and I'm still here (physically anyway). If you ever need to talk, email me, and I'll listen. Great write, and way to go on expressing what you really feel! Rhonda "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Welcome to Passions!!! It's glad to see you've decided to join us here in Passions for Poetry. I do hope yu enjoy reading poems and sharing as well. Enjoy this magical place as much as we all do. hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
 Welcome to Passions! Your first piece has a lot of potential in it. One recommendation is that you review your lines. The rhyme is good but you seriously need to break up the lines so it reads a bit better. Good choice of a first poem too. I look forward to viewing your replies in the future. ~AF~ GREMLINS ARE TRYING TO STEAL MY PANTS!!!!!!! *sobs* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Passions! I really liked this poem! If you'd like a deeper reply, I could give you one, but you'd have to have the critique flag up which shows members that they can deeply critique your poem. Right now I can say that I did like the poem a lot and it shows a lot of talent.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
Hey! Welcome, i'm a little slow replying but i get around to it... *L* like what someone else already said re-read your lines and watch the syllables. lol i'm a stickler on syllables because you can ALWAYS re-word a sentence so it has a different number of syllables by taking out a word or adding another. it really affects the flow and sometimes it can have another affect on the poem... an even better one! well lol enough of me talkin... good write tho i hear ya. Valerie "...And i want to take you down, but your soul could not be found, doesn't matter much you see cause your disease is killing me..." -Saliva |
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5_sweet_kisses Junior Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 49 |
 WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! nice, poem i liked it alot  |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
 WELCOME TO PIP! I really enjoyed reading this. It was a wonderful free verse. So sad. You expressed your thoughts/feelings excellently! Hope to see more! |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This a pretty good first post! Welcome to Passions in Poetry! I really liked this poem... the way you expressed yourself was really awesome. I can't wait to see more posts and replies from you --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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