Teen Poetry #5 |
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Mother |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Your wedding dress is white and torn With spots of red, I bet you’re sore You were something of a pearl hiding in the deep blue sea But now where are your bones? Probably amongst the ideals on the floor, it’s sad it came to this, my mother.. my mother Your lungs aren’t what they used to be, your chest caves in Crushing your heart and whatever else you had hiding in there Gripping your points, it’s the point - to kill it, to kill what you’ve become For battling beasts and demons, you paid a heavy price, so much you lost and the people around you, they were too – stealing from you, and it burns.. it.. burns.. Lonely heart, empty soul.. now you scream And lose control… Jumping off… we’re jumping off.. ...flying away.. Tell God that I cried 4.13.02 ![]() [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (04-13-2002 11:22 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Morgana - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I have a feeling that even if I say "suicide is not the answer" someone's going to remove this anyway, but I figured I'd at least do my part. Having been there before, either through myself, family, or friends, I KNOW that it is not the answer. I'm not saying it because I heard it on some T.V. commercial. Life is hard. It hurts. Keep breathing and you'll see why we bother in the first place. This is probably one of the most emotional and open things I've ever written... I actually cried very much while writing it.. so yeah... I'd hate to see something so important rejected. However, it happens. Goodnight my fellow poets.. Think about it. [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (04-13-2002 09:26 PM).] |
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PoetryIsLife![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
*hugs memina* A very emotional piece here, my memina. And a very well written one. The ending impacted me most. It seemed so... yearning for peace... the last line is the only line the implys something to me. It seemed like a piece of sadness to your mom... like you are her are clinging to each other in a hard time of life. Or perhaps only you are grasping her. I get the feeling you... feel sorrow for her. Like she's lost all her ideals and beauty somehow. Like life is becoming to much for her, and that impacts you, possibly via a love. It too seems you say it's not all her fault... that you, everyone around you is partially responsible. And it appears you relate very well. You understand, comphrehend. Thus, you jump with her. But the jumping to me seemed.... life you're jumping off a cliff of sadness, despair, clinching to each other, ready to.... try once again. Be refreshed some how, be reawakened. And continue the struggle. Perhaps that is just what I see. But it was a much, much enjoyed piece. ![]() Yours Truely, Mon Verite Carpe Diem! |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
~dark your poems are sometimes so full of personal imagery that i get a little confused, but in a way i do understand them. i had to re-read a few parts, but it was still very moving. thank you for sharing this one. -bergundy- maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio- |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Your imagery was amazing and the feeling that you put into your words was incredible. I enjoyed reading this..heart felt and very emotional. iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf.. |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
very powerful and awesome imagery. great job. i hope things get better for you. |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
.....Bam. That hits. Your lungs aren’t what they used to be, your chest caves in Crushing your heart and whatever else you had hiding in there That stuck out for some reason.... This was such a raw piece...Thank you for sharing it... ~Carly "Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
You made me cry, Very Highly Emotional..I don't know what to say without sounding stupid... Kristen |
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