Teen Poetry #5 |
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A Walk Through The Orchard |
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ericaisamonkey Member
since 2002-04-04
Posts 51A little town north of nowhere |
Screaming parents, watery eyes Uncontrollable shaking, absent mind Cigarette burning, smoke filled room Loud music, vibrating windows The house is a mess, I need to clean my room My mind is flying solo, no body connected to it Unspeakable fantasies, horrible nightmares What is my soul hiding from? I can't do anything, stare off blankly This is so new to me I wonder what's happening You're on my mind, I can't stop thinking Why did you do this to me? You make it seem as though nothing happened Water running, cool breezes The scent of fresh air, fire burning in the distance The sun shines when it rains What is that about? Sick thoughts fill my head White sheets, red stains What the hell is happening? A sigh of relief, memory flashbacks Take a step outside, bathe in the sunshine Feel the warmth of the breeze And just know, I'm still here waiting by the apple trees. *Erica* |
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© Copyright 2002 Erica Reeves - All Rights Reserved | |||
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey erica, welcome to passions, it is a pretty cool place. this is a really interesting post, and i felt the need to read it twice in order to take all of the wonderful imagery in. you did this well, and i can't find any fault with it. thank you for sharing this, and i hope to see more of you. -bergundy- maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio- |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Erica, I love ur style... Just like, images all running together to creat one big picture... It's awesome. The imagery in this is great, you can see all these different things... Keep postin, girl. - Cody - |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Whoa, imagery overload! ![]() Erica, this is a really good piece. I love your last line. It sums the whole thing up so nicely and perfectly. Parts of this piece raised a couple of eyebrows with me because I think I know what they're in reference to but other than that, well done on such an amazing write. Thanks for sharing and keep writing. ![]() ~AF~ "Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy." - Susanna Kaysen |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Welcome to Passions. I really enjoyed reading this poem. I love your style and how you express yourself. This form in particular seemed like a thousand memories and images of one specific event or time period flashing through your mind and towards the end it comes to a calm point, yet all that has past has definitely left it's mark on your soul. Thank you so much for sharing this. DE "I never claimed to be your savior I said I had a dirty mouth Stop analyzing my behavior If you’re too dumb to work it out" Garbage [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (04-08-2002 07:27 PM).] |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I enjoyed this a lot erica. You really gave the reader a nice image of what was going on and how you feel. I hope he meets you by the apple trees ![]() iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf.. |
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quietlydying![]() ![]()
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i really like the concept of the piece, and where you're going with it. the imagery is amazing. it reminds me of an 'experience' i had had. a thousand and twelve memories jumbled all together, no way to explain them or sort through them. they're all just THERE. thanks for the read. /jen/ so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 [This message has been edited by quietlydying (04-09-2002 10:04 PM).] |
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